Who decided all-over body hair is acceptable for men while women must have perfectly smooth, hairless legs? Why are slim thighs and large breasts considered ideal? Where did we get the idea that blonde hair needs to be blonder, black skin should be lighter, and light skin should be tanned? Why are certain face and body shapes preferable over others—especially when the preference is unattainable?
If you’ve ever felt the Seduction of Unattainable Beauty calling your name, you are not alone. And there’s a reason for it.
Hi, I’m Lauren Thell, author of Christian YA fiction and blogger for teens who are ready to exceed the world’s expectations.
In This Article
The Seduction of Unattainable Beauty
Even those of us who recognize how unrealistic it is still find ourselves seduced by the lure to achieve this unrealistic standard of beauty.
Somewhere along the way, our culture created an image of the “ideal” woman—and it’s an image that can only be achieved through advanced photoshopping techniques. Yet, somehow, even those of us who recognize how unrealistic it is still find ourselves seduced by the lure to achieve these unrealistic beauty standards.
I’m not going to send out a generic “you are beautiful in your own way” pep talk because, while that may be true, it’s still focusing on the wrong thing. If you want to feel beautiful—if you desire to rise above this nonsense that pulls your self-esteem down into a rabbit hole—then you must turn your face in the opposite direction, away from yourself.
The Proverbs 31 Woman = The Ideal For Godly Womanhood
Take a look at the example of godly womanhood in Proverbs 31:10-31, a passage that in some bibles is titled “The Wife of Noble Character.” As this is a blog for Christian teens and young adults, I’m guessing most of you are not married. But that’s okay because no woman suddenly becomes someone else the second she gets married. I think it’s safe to say much of this passage applies to all women.
To be a noble wife is to first be a noble woman.
Let me highlight a few traits of the Woman of Noble Character. The Woman of Noble Character…
If you want to feel beautiful, you must turn your face in the opposite direction—away from yourself.
- Works with eager hands (v. 13)
- Uses wisdom to conduct business (v. 16)
- Stays fit for her work (v. 17)
- Opens her arms to the poor and needy (v. 20)
- Is clothed with strength and dignity (v. 25)
- Speaks with wisdom (v. 26)
- Watches over the affairs of her household (v. 27)
Note that there is nothing about trying to achieve a beach body or silky, smooth hair or the perfect skin tone. In fact, if you read the entire passage (and I suggest you do), nothing at all shows concern for her appearance. The trait of staying fit for work is more about physical health than outward beauty.
That’s because the Proverbs 31 woman is too busy doing more important things, and I think there’s an important lesson to be learned here:
When you focus too long and hard on something, that thing becomes magnified in your mind until it becomes the most important thing in your life.
Suddenly, beauty (or your perceived lack thereof) becomes a priority, and you start to pay more attention to what the world says about your body and you forget about the more important pursuit of serving God and your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
To live your best life, stop focusing on unrealistic beauty standards—or any beauty standards—and turn your attention to eternity.
Overcome Body Image Issues by Turning Your Focus Upward
It might seem impossible right now but you can train yourself to move beyond body image issues by focusing more on who you are in Christ. The following steps will get you started on the right track—but don’t stop there. There’s always more you can do to live a holy life.
You don’t have to have all the answers.
But, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
1) Overcome Negative Body Image Issues By De-Idolizing Yourself
The truth is, our obsession with outward appearance is a form of idolatry. Suddenly your body—even if you hate it—becomes your idol. You’ve given your body the power to determine your success and self-worth. Body image issues are the product of too much focus on the wrong thing.
Our obsession with outward appearance is a form of idolatry
See how Christian teens and young adults can overcome self-objectification in For a Positive Body Image, Start With the Truth.
2) Live For the Glory of God
Glorifying God isn’t an activity solely reserved for worship services. The Proverbs 31 woman glorifies God in all she does—and that’s how you can find your best life as well. Read more about this in Let Your Life Be a Glimpse of God’s Glory.
3) Train Your Thoughts
Like most modern humans, you’ve been conditioned to focus on your body and unrealistic beauty standards far too much. (Advertising has a lot to do with this). So switching your focus might be tricky at first. Get the gritty details on how to do this in Change Your Thought Patterns: The Dangerous Rut.
Living like the Proverbs 31 woman is not supposed to be a form of slavery.
4) Find Joy in the Truth
Living like the Proverbs 31 woman is not supposed to be a form of slavery. True joy is found in a life dedicated to Christ. Learn more in A Rare Treasure: Discover True Christian Joy.
You will rise above the seduction of unattainable beauty when you live your best life for the glory of God!
Oh how true! If God looks at the heart and not the outward appearance; then, what does that tell us!
I always think of the verse in the Bible about David when God was choosing David to be king (1 Samuel 16:7).
Thanks again Lauren. So enjoy your writings!
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