Who decided all-over body hair is acceptable for men while women must have perfectly smooth, hairless legs? Why are slim thighs and large breasts considered ideal? Where did we get the idea that blonde hair needs to be blonder, black skin should be lighter, and light skin should be tanned? Why are certain face and body shapes preferable over others—especially when the preference is unattainable?
If you’ve ever felt the Seduction of Unattainable Beauty calling your name, you are not alone. And there’s a reason for it.
Hey, I’m Lauren, author of YA Christian fiction and
blogger for teens ready to level up in faith.
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In This Article
The Seduction of Unattainable Beauty
Would you believe me if I told you…
- Faith Hill has no wrinkles?
- Kate Winslet is six feet tall?
- Keira Knightley has a size D cup?
- Katie Perry has no tummy flab?
- Beyoncé is white?
If you believe everything that was printed on the covers of women’s magazines over the past decade, then you might have fallen for all of the above—and none are true.
Media has a dangerous impact on body image perception. Somewhere along the way, our culture created an image of the “ideal” woman that can only be achieved through advanced photoshopping techniques.
Yet, somehow, even those of us who recognize how unrealistic it is still find ourselves seduced by the lure to achieve these unrealistic beauty standards.
Photo-Manipulation on a More Personal Level
This trend of treating women’s bodies like objects is not restricted to fashion magazines, billboards, and television ads. Numbers vary, but several surveys suggest anywhere from 64 to 71 percent of photos posted on social media are altered somehow.
Not only is the media objectifying our bodies, but we’re doing it to ourselves as well.
That’s a lot! (I didn’t know this until I did the research for this post, and now I’m suddenly feeling suspicious of my friends.) With photo editing software, making your lips fuller and your skin younger is just a matter of a few clicks. So not only does media impact body image perception, but we do it to ourselves as well.
Which begs the question: When did having the perfect body become a woman’s measure of success?
A New Form Of Idolatry
This mental state of worrying about your physical appearances has been dubbed “self-objectification,” but the Bible has another term for it: idolatry.
No one wants to believe her body was made strictly for the viewing pleasure of others, but that’s the lie we have fallen for, and it’s evident in the way we constantly think about how we look as we go about life. This mental state of worrying about your physical appearance has been dubbed “self-objectification,” but the Bible has another term for it: idolatry.
Suddenly your body—even if you hate it—has become your idol. You’ve given your body the power to determine your success and self-worth. At some point, you might even say, “I’m gonna prove to everybody I love my body,” and post a picture of yourself in a bikini on social media. This is viewed as cultivating a positive body image, and empowerment in the fight against the notion that women’s bodies must fit a certain standard.
Great argument, wrong method. Here’s why: Showing off your body by putting it in a skimpy piece of clothing . . . still makes it an object.
The fact that you are brave enough to put yourself in a bikini in no way proves you love your body. In fact, skimpy clothing promotes self-objectification and self-idolatry.
Read more about this dangerous trend in The Bikini Tyranny of Body Positivity from the More Than A Body website.
You are more than an object to be admired. Cultivating a positive body image begins with walking away from the popular trends that turn bodies into ornaments. If you want to feel beautiful—if you desire to rise above this nonsense that pulls your self-esteem down into a rabbit hole—then you must turn your face in the opposite direction, away from yourself.
The Proverbs 31 Woman = The Ideal For Godly Womanhood
Take a look at the example of godly womanhood in Proverbs 31:10-31, a passage that in some bibles is titled “The Wife of Noble Character.” As this is a blog for teens and young adults, I’m guessing most of you are not married. But that’s okay because no woman suddenly becomes someone else the second she gets married. I think it’s safe to say much of this passage applies to all women.
To be a noble wife is to first be a noble woman.
Let me highlight a few traits of the Woman of Noble Character. The Woman of Noble Character…
If you want to feel beautiful, you must turn your face in the opposite direction—away from yourself.
- Works with eager hands (v. 13)
- Uses wisdom to conduct business (v. 16)
- Stays fit for her work (v. 17)
- Opens her arms to the poor and needy (v. 20)
- Is clothed with strength and dignity (v. 25)
- Speaks with wisdom (v. 26)
- Watches over the affairs of her household (v. 27)
Note that there is nothing about trying to achieve a beach body or silky, smooth hair or the perfect skin tone. In fact, if you read the entire passage (and I suggest you do), nothing at all shows concern for her appearance. The mention of staying fit for work is more about physical health than outward beauty.
That’s because the Proverbs 31 woman is too busy doing more important things, and I think there’s an important lesson to be learned here:
When you focus too long and hard on something, that thing becomes magnified in your mind until it becomes the most important thing in your life.
Suddenly, beauty (or your perceived lack thereof) becomes a priority, and you start to pay more attention to what the world says about your body and you forget about the more important pursuit of serving God and your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
To live your best life, stop focusing on unrealistic beauty standards—or any beauty standards—and turn your attention to eternity.
How Christian Teens Can Overcome Body Image Issues
It might seem impossible right now, but you can train yourself to move beyond body image issues by turning your focus to Christ. The following steps will get you started.
1) Stop believing the lies and start demanding the truth.
Don’t subscribe to fashion magazines. They are breeding grounds for unrealistic beauty standards. If self-objectification has led you to the point of self-loathing or eating disorders, you should avoid all forms of media. The truth can’t be found in pictures.
This includes social media. If certain friends consistently make you doubt yourself with their beautiful selfies, it’s okay—strongly advised, in fact—that you block them or unfollow them. You can still be friends with the real Jane, without letting Imaginary Jane crush your sense of worth.
Related: 8 Signs You Are Addicted to Social Media—And How to Break Free
2) De-Idolize Yourself
The truth is, our obsession with outward appearance is a form of idolatry. Suddenly your body—even if you hate it—becomes your idol. You’ve given your body the power to determine your success and self-worth. Body image issues are the product of too much focus on the wrong thing.
Our obsession with outward appearance is a form of idolatry
3) Live For the Glory of God
Glorifying God isn’t an activity solely reserved for worship services. The Proverbs 31 woman glorifies God in all she does—and that’s how you can find your best life as well. Read more about this in Let Your Life Be a Glimpse of God’s Glory.
You can also glorify God with your clothing choices. Choose your clothes based on what enables you to experience what it’s like to live in a body made for more than just an ornament. Don’t turn a swimsuit into a badge of honor or feel you need to “prove” your self-confidence by showing even more skin. Modest styles take the eyes off your physical assets and put them on your great personality or kind heart.
Related: 5 Practical Steps to a Stylish, Modest Wardrobe.
4) Train Your Thoughts
Like most modern humans, you’ve been conditioned to focus on your body and unrealistic beauty standards far too much. (Advertising has a lot to do with this). So switching your focus might be tricky at first. Get the gritty details on how to do this in Change Your Thought Patterns: The Dangerous Rut.
Your body is a gift from the Great Artist. It was made not for looking at, but for running, dancing, swimming, singing, and pursuing the plans God has for you. To see how God views your body, check out 1 Samuel 16:7, 1 Timothy 4:8, and Ephesians 2:10.
Living like the Proverbs 31 woman is not supposed to be a form of slavery.
5) Find Joy in the Truth
Living like the Proverbs 31 woman is not supposed to be a form of slavery. True joy is found in a life dedicated to Christ. Learn more in A Rare Treasure: Discover True Christian Joy.
You will rise above the seduction of unattainable beauty when you live your best life for the glory of God!
Related: Happiness & Holiness: Aim High And Go For Both
More Resources For Christian Teens Struggling with Body Image Issues
You don’t have to have all the answers.
but, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
- Is it Okay For Christian Women to Wear Makeup?
- Clothed in Christ: A Christian Girl’s Perspective on Fashion
- Priceless: Hope For Young Christians Struggling With Low Self-Esteem
Oh how true! If God looks at the heart and not the outward appearance; then, what does that tell us!
I always think of the verse in the Bible about David when God was choosing David to be king (1 Samuel 16:7).
Thanks again Lauren. So enjoy your writings!
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