Quick fun fact about my short story The Day Hanna Hosanna Helped Cootie Judy: The opening scene where Jude Rohmann is seen being bullied by an older boy was taken right out of one of my high school memories. I actually witnessed a boy do exactly what Kade Manning does to Jude.
Bullying isn’t funny.
Are you dealing with a bully right now? I spent some time in middle school dodging bullies who targeted me for my shy, uncool nerd status. It seems like a small thing now, but at the time it was very stressful.
Let’s talk about a few things you can do to help you deal with bullying.
You don’t have to have all the answers.
but, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
In This Article
Tips to Help Christian Teens Deal With Bullying
1) Remember what’s true.
I used to be teased for being a “nerd.” But to tell you the truth, I was a nerd. More brainiac than athlete, I didn’t dress in the most fashionable sense (though I never went so far as to wear a pocket protector). I was a nerd, but let’s be real here. Being a nerd isn’t all that bad.
So why should I be bothered about being teased for it?
Why do we allow people to bother us over things that really aren’t negative?
Why do we allow people to bother us over things that really aren’t negative? Is it terrible that you’re known for being a Christian who follows the rules, or that you enjoy books more than basketball games, or whatever it is that sets you apart from the others?
Here’s a little secret: You can drastically reduce a bully’s power by not letting the things he says bother you.
But first, you have to accept that it’s okay to be different.
2) Don’t believe the lie.
The lie that every bully wants you to believe is that it’s not okay to be different. A bully would have you believe there’s something wrong with you because you’re smaller or bigger or slower, or your eyes aren’t the same color, or you speak with a lisp, or whatever.
This is a lie. Take a look at these Bible verses:
Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Romans 12:4-5
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
My son, if sinful men entice you, do not give in to them… my son, do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths. Proverbs 1:10, 15
As you can see, you were made the way you are for a purpose—a purpose God has chosen you for. He didn’t make us exact clones of each other for a reason!
Years after you graduate from high school, you will probably look back and wonder, “Why was I so worried about fitting in?” It’s true, because that’s how I feel right now. The things I was teased for are the very things that have made me successful in life.
The lie that every bully wants you to believe is that it’s not okay to be different.
Check out my post Dealing with Peer Pressure: A Slideshow of the Future.
3) Pray for your enemy.
People don’t just become repeat bullies because they’re bored. One of my sons might walk up to his brother and spray the back of his head with furniture polish because he’s bored, but bullies who repeatedly pick on others usually hide an underlying fear. They need to hold power over someone in order to make up for their inadequacy elsewhere. Perhaps they have no love in their life. Their parents might be abusive, or absent altogether.
Whatever the reason for his actions, a bully is someone to pray for.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Matthew 5:43-45
A bully is still God’s child, and one whom you might be able to turn from her ways.
4) Get help.
You can’t control what others do, but you have the power to change your perspective.
You probably already know this, but if the bullying has reached a point where it’s become abuse and dangerous to someone, it’s time to get help. Don’t stand there and let someone abuse you. You should not have to deal with this on your own.
You can’t control what others do, but you have the power to change your perspective. A bully can’t take that away. Look at yourself through God’s eyes and never let someone make you feel inferior for being who He made you to be.
Related: 16 Awesome Things For Christian Teens to Take Pride in.
For more advice on how to deal with bullying, check out 7 Ways to Respond to Bullies at Fervr.net.