7 Common Lies About Sex That Christian Girls Believe

Christians sometimes come across as being above worldly ways when, in truth, we do not possess some sort of mystical immunity to the lure of sexual sin. In fact, Satan yearns to eat us for breakfast, lunch, and supper. He knows Christ defeated him so the best he can do is take as many casualties as possible.

And he wants you.

That’s right, his one goal is to separate you from God, and he will use whatever temptation gets the job done. You can blame him for why our culture presents sex outside marriage as a succulent forbidden fruit, with God as the cold-hearted withholder. The lies about sex that Christian girls believe are Satan’s lies.

Lauren Thell, author of YA Christian Fiction

Hey, I’m Lauren, author of YA Christian fiction and

blogger for teens ready to level up in faith.

Subscribe for inspiring content and free YA ebooks!

How Satan’s Lies Lead to Sexual Sin

“Do this. It’s not so bad. You’ll feel great afterwards.”

Temptation requires no invitation. It comes on its own. But it’s your choice to resist or yield. As the adage says, “You cannot prevent the birds from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair.” (Trivia question of the day: Who is this quote attributed to? Find out at the end of this post!)

What follows are seven common myths—lies about sex that Christian girls believe and Satan uses (often successfully) to wear down their resistance. The more you listen to any of these, the more likely you are to justify sex outside its designated place—marriage—and suffer the emotional fallout that accompanies it.

Fight back with truth!

2 Relational Lies About Sex that Christian Girls Believe

1)“We’re in love, so it’s okay.”

By its most basic definition, love means seeking the best for another person regardless of how it does or does not benefit yourself. Be careful to not confuse love with lust, which is self-pleasing and seeks immediate satisfaction.

A guy who truly loves you—rather than lusting after your body—will not pressure you into something that serves himself. He will honor you. Likewise, if you truly love a man, you seek what’s best for him and won’t try to jeopardize his relationship with Jesus.

Wondering how to serve God with your dating relationship? Check out Christian Dating: There Must Be More to It Than This!

2)“We’re getting married someday.”

But you’re not married yet.

There is no substitute—no intention good enough, no promise strong enough—for standing before God and committing your life to another in marriage. Just ask the woman who gave herself fully to a man with the expectation of marriage, then finds herself single a year later. Something sacred happens when you make your marriage vows.

If your boyfriend pressures you for sex under the pretext that marriage is just around the corner, make it clear he doesn’t get to enjoy the benefits of the club until he pays the dues!

2 Myths About Sex that Downplay the Act

3)“Sex isn’t a big deal.”

This lie comes straight from pop culture. Sitcoms, chick flicks, a startling number of YA novels . . . all these show unmarried couples hopping in the sack together, sometimes even before they’ve officially declared themselves a couple!

Seriously?!

That’s not how God intended sex to be used. God’s incredible plan for sex includes oneness, intimacy between two souls, bonding, mystery. The sacred is now portrayed as common and normal.

Psychologists agree that what you do with your body affects your soul. Teens are instructed to protect themselves from pregnancy and disease with condoms, but what protects your mind, soul, and heart? Sex outside the solid bonds of marriage leads to emotional instability and issues with self-esteem, identity, and depression.

Just don’t go there.

Learn more about the dangers of cohabitation: Is it Actually Wrong to Live Together Before Marriage?

4)“We’re not actually having sex . . .”

Ah, Satan loves this one. He loves to convince Chrisitan girls that what they’re doing with their boyfriends is okay because it “technically” isn’t sex. Making out, touching, sleeping in each other’s beds even if “nothing happened” . . .

If you’re working to justify it, it’s probably not okay.

Take a moment to remind yourself of the point of purity. Purity is not about a strict set of do’s and don’ts. The point of purity is to love God with your whole self—body, mind, soul. It is entirely possible to miss this mark without ever having intercourse.

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
Ephesians 5:3

You are precious to God. Be on your guard against anything that threatens to carry you away from him.

3 Lies About Sex That Devalue Your Worth

5)“Sex will make me feel more secure.”

Every girl, Christian or not, longs to feel attractive and desired. Combine that with every guy’s innate need for sexual release, and you have a disaster waiting to happen. Satan knows this and uses this weakness to set up one of his favorite traps: telling her that a guy’s sexual desire for her is proof of her value.

If that’s what you believe, you will always have to work to be found sexy and beautiful in order to feel secure. You are more than a body. You are valuable because of what Jesus did for you, not because of your physical assets. But you have to believe this yourself before you can make your boyfriend see it.

Struggling with low self-worth? Check out For a Positive Body Image, Start With The Truth and Priceless: Hope for Young Christians Struggling With Low Self-Esteem.

6)“He will love me more if I am intimate with him.”

So untrue! Sex is not a commodity to be traded for love—your body in exchange for his affection. In marriage, intimacy between two souls is expressed through sex, but sex does not create intimacy.

Any man worth marrying will respect you more if you abstain. “But don’t all guys want sex?” Guys are capable of more self-control than you think. The godly man has the foresight to know it gets better if he waits, and he will fight for purity—yours and his—alongside you.

He’s out there, girls. Guys like this still walk the earth. Wait until you find him, because nothing is impossible with God.

Wondering what standards matter when choosing a guy? Read 3 Most Important Qualities of a Good Boyfriend for Christian Girls.

7)“It’s already too late for me.”

What about those who have already lost their virginity? What’s the point now?

This is one of the saddest lies about sex that Christian girls believe, and because of that it is a question too deep to answer in a single blip. Please read my post Lost Virginity: Is it Too Late For Me? to find your answer when you think there is no hope for you.

Fight the Good Fight Agains Sexual Sin

The quote about the birds came from none other than Martin Luther. He understood temptation and sin, and I want you to as well. It is my hope that in exposing these lies, you will be equipped to resist them. As Marian Jordan Ellis says in her book Sex and the Single Christian Girl, “We behave how we believe.” (And that’s a great book, by the way. Check it out!)

You are precious and loved by God. He is worth every sacrifice.

Related to the topic of lies about sex that Christian girls believe: The Case For Abstinence: This is What Really Matters

2 thoughts on “7 Common Lies About Sex That Christian Girls Believe”

Marcia September 12, 2022 at 11:43 pm

Beautifully written! God always wants the best for us.
Becky September 13, 2022 at 11:23 am

Another good article packed with good advice and information. Thank you for sharing your insights with young women and men, as well as the rest of us. Your thoughtful writings inspire even us oldsters to know how to address some of these issues with the young people in our lives. Thank you and God bless your ministry.

Comments are closed.

7 Common Lies About Sex That Christian Girls Believe

In This Article

How Satan’s Lies Lead to Sexual Sin