On a beautiful autumn day, almost twelve years ago, my husband and I married in a small country church packed with people.
I wore my grandmother’s 1940s wedding dress—a beautiful gown with lace cutouts and a cathedral train, no alterations needed. I walked down the aisle on my father’s arm, carrying a bouquet of red roses, to my own arrangement of the hymn Just As I Am. Friends performed original music composed by yours truly.
The minister gave a lovely sermonette, Brian and I stared into each other’s eyes with dreamy expressions, said our vows, kissed, and marched down the aisle as husband and wife. Afterward, it was off to a reception that included games involving a chicken doing the hokey pokey and guys walking around in ladies’ shoes.
Good times!
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In This Article
Reclaiming the Art of Commitment
Back up for a moment to those vows I mentioned.
They probably sounded like just another part of a meticulously planned day. In fact, they were pretty easy to say, even with phrases like for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and as long as we both shall live. Neither my then-fiance nor I balked when we came to that part. Like most weddings, ours had a happy ending.
It’s easy to say “yes” to something, not so easy to follow through.
But, sadly, many marriages do not.
Current divorce statistics prove too many people either a) don’t realize what they are promising when they speak their vows on their wedding day, b) don’t really mean what they are saying through their vows, or, c) changed the wording of the vows so that they weren’t really committing to anything at all.
It’s easy to say “yes” to something, not so easy to follow through on that yes. As a whole, our current culture fails at the art of commitment.
Failure to Follow Through on Your Promises
Marriage is just one (albeit, huge) example of where the art of commitment has been lost. You don’t have to look hard to find others.
Think about someone who joins the school show choir or volleyball team, but frequently skips practices. Or the friend who promises to greet attendees to your art exhibit, but fails to show up. The coworker who doesn’t uphold his end of a group project, the club member who promises to provide four dozen cookies for a bake sale fundraiser but forgets to bring them, the team member who promises to abstain from alcohol, then gets drunk at a frat party…
What about those who are chronically late? Isn’t that a form of not taking commitment seriously?
How about those who join an exclusive club but don’t follow the rules?
Club Christianity
If you call yourself a Christian, I’m going to assume that at some point you have said yes to Jesus. So what does that entail?
Saying yes to Jesus is not all that different from saying yes to the person you intend to marry. In fact, marriage is compared to Jesus’ relationship with the church in Ephesians 5:22-33. In both instances, you vow to love, honor, and serve someone else before yourself, for better or worse.
And just like with marriage, many of us are not taking that commitment seriously or committing solidly.
“Sure, I believe in Christ, but as for the rest of the Bible? Pfft. I’d rather not be bothered with God’s old-fashioned rules about lying, cheating, adultery, homosexuality, abortion, and hate.
If any of this sounds like you, then your “yes” to Christ doesn’t hold much meaning.
“Church? Who needs church? I can worship God in my own way wherever I am.
“And don’t expect me to leave my future up to him; I’m the captain of my ship. I choose where I go.
“That trifle little sin I keep coming back to is just a part of who I am. God can’t expect me to change who I am. He made me this way.”
If any of this sounds like you, then your “yes” to Christ doesn’t hold much meaning. You’ve joined the club but haven’t committed to following its code of conduct. That’s like marrying someone but hanging on to your right to date other people. You haven’t jumped in with both feet.
You’re actually saying no in a more intensely painful way.
Follow Through On Your Promises: Let Your Yes be Yes.
Don’t be afraid to commit! But whether it’s a promise you make to your best friend’s little sister, a pledge of allegiance to your team, a marriage vow, or the declaration that you believe in the Prince of Peace, saying yes should be nothing less than a total commitment. Don’t be a slave to fear, or laziness, or whatever it is that makes us slump off on our promises.
Say yes, then do it.
And if you say yes to taking Christ’s name upon yourself, then be prepared to do it mind, body, and soul. As Joshua said to the Israelites:
“Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua 24: 15
Committed to following through on your “yes” to Christ? Check out my post How To Love God: What is God’s Love Language?