Are you happy? Do you, overall, consider yourself a happy person? If you answered no, think for a moment about what would make you happy.
I would be happy if…
- I were skinny and had clear skin.
- I were popular and well-liked.
- Everybody believed what I believe.
- I could do whatever I wanted without feeling guilty later.
- I were 100% successful at school.
I think it’s safe to say most of us blame outside forces for our lack of happiness. When things don’t go as planned, our happiness tanks and is further buried by the sense that we can do nothing about it. If you want to give the world that much control over your mental wellbeing, great. Keep thinking that way.
But if you want to take back control, remember this: The worst offender to your happiness is the one person you have to live with for the rest of your life. That’s right, you are the one who determines your overall contentment level. But first you must change your thought patterns.
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In This Article
Negative Thinking Patterns = The Toxic Rut
We’re all familiar with the little voice inside, the one that chastises you when you’ve crossed the line and warns you of impending danger. In those instances, the little voice is your friend and very well might save your life. Sometimes, however, that little voice makes a great bully but unlike the playground bullies of your childhood, this one won’t knock you down, pull your underwear over your head, and steal your glasses.
This one comes up and sweetly whispers in your ear something that may not sound at all like a lie.
- If I introduce myself to those people, they might reject me and I can’t handle rejection.
- I can’t be happy until I’m as skinny as that girl over there.
- No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to override my desire to indulge in this one little pleasure.
- I’m the way I am because I was born that way.
- If I share my beliefs with them, they might disagree and that would be horrible.Â
- I can’t let anyone see that I don’t have it all together. I need their respect.
Recognize the lies in these statements? Do any of them sound like your own self-talk?
Tell yourself something often enough, you will start to believe it even if it’s a lie. French philosopher RenĂ© Descartes coined the phrase “I think, therefore I am.” But, in truth, he really should have said “I think in order to determine the way I am.”
Tell yourself something often enough, you will start to believe it even if it’s a lie.
Our feelings are not caused by our circumstances but by what we tell ourselves about our circumstances. These are our thought patterns. What you think changes the chemical composition of your brain. And the more you think something, the more it is burned into your mind to keep thinking and believing that way.
So how do you win the battle of the mind? Start with switching negative thinking patterns to truth.
The Ruts in Your Mind
Have you ever driven on a two-track road or pushed a wheelbarrow back and forth over the same spot in your yard? It doesn’t take long for a rut to form, and the more you use it, the deeper it gets—and the harder to get out of. This is where the phrase “stuck in a rut” comes from. Parts of the Oregon trail where are still visible today, thanks to the wheel ruts.
Satan’s first tactic is to use your own voice inside your head so that you won’t recognize him. His second tactic is to make the lie sound like a truth.
The ruts in your brain are equally stubborn. It is possible to get out of the rut of negative thoughts and change your thought patterns into a healthier track. But first, you must recognize where these misbeliefs come from: none other than the Father of All Lies. Satan’s first tactic is to use your own voice inside your head so that you won’t recognize him. His second tactic is to make the lie sound like a truth.
Ready to turn repeated negative thoughts into positive tracks? It’s time to evict the Father of All Lies from your head!
How to Change Your Thought Patterns
The process you use to rid yourself of negative thinking patterns is not complicated. For each misbelief you have about yourself or about your life, follow these three steps:
- Identify the lie you are telling yourself.
- Remove the lie.
- Replace the lie with the truth.
Let’s take a look at one of the above misbeliefs to see how this works:
If I share my beliefs with them, they might disagree and that would be horrible.
1) Identify the Lie
What is the misbelief in this statement? If you share your beliefs with someone else, whether it be about religion or politics or just a simple opinion about what the theme should be for your junior class prom, someone might disagree. That’s the truth.
The lie comes when you tell yourself it would be horrible if they disagreed.
Is it really horrible if someone disagrees with you? Uncomfortable maybe, but will you survive? Do you really have to be loved by everybody in order to be happy? Think of all the ways someone who believes this would be paralyzed in life.
2) Remove the Lie
This is as simple as taking the lie and switching it for the truth: If I share my beliefs with them, they might disagree.
That is now a true statement.
3) Replace the Lie With the Truth
The truth is, as a Christian, your worth and happiness are not dominated by the outside forces of this world. They come through the knowledge of salvation through Jesus and the power of God within. You are complete in him.
 “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
Galatians 2:20
Therefore, a true statement might sound something like this:
If I share my beliefs with them, they might disagree, but that’s okay because my beliefs are founded on the solid Rock and my worth is dependent on his love for me.
Win the Battle of the Mind With Scripture
The concept of breaking free from the rut of negative thinking has its roots in scripture. Check out these Bible verses about changing your thought patterns.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.Â
Philippians 4:8
Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 8:31-32
A Word of Caution
Don’t fall for a new lie, one that tells you getting out of a rut should be easy. Remember, the longer you tell yourself a falsehood, the harder it is to eschew it for the truth. That’s why the first misbelief you need to change is the belief that you can’t change.
Take it Further: Misbelief Therapy
The first misbelief you need to change is the belief that you can’t change.
This concept is nothing new. In the world of psychology and mental health, it’s called misbelief therapy. If you’re struggling with a negative belief about yourself or your life, if you’re battling depression or anxiety, if you have trouble with self-hate or lack of self-control, I highly encourage you to check out Telling Yourself the Truth: Find Your Way Out of Depression, Anxiety, Fear, Anger and Other Common Problems by Applying the Principles of Misbelief Therapy by Christian counselors William Backus and Marie Chapian. This is my go-to book for winning the battle of the mind.Â
Take Note: This column is not meant to replace the guidance of trained mental health counselors. If your struggle with misbeliefs seems severe and insurmountable, please seek help from a qualified mental health professional.
Change Your Thought Patterns: More Resources for Christian Teens
You don’t have to have all the answers.
But, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
Still struggling with negative thinking patterns?
Identify ten common lies we tell ourselves and the truths they replace in Tell Yourself the Truth: Freedom From Depression, Anxiety & More.
Change your thought patterns with positive self-talk…
But not just any self-talk. Look at yourself through the lens of the Almighty and pack your self-talk with truth in Positive Self-Talk For Christian Teens: Words That Actually Work.
For teens dealing with self-esteem & body image issues:
- Priceless: Hope For Young Christians Struggling with Low Self-Esteem
- For a Positive Body Image, Start With The Truth
Godspeed on your journey for the truth!
