Do you struggle with depression, anxiety, or habitual sin? Do negative thoughts about yourself, life, and/or God live inside your brain, rent free? Maybe you’re able to pull off an outward aura of easygoing nonchalance, but inside your mind, a terrific battle rages. You don’t want to be struggling and unhappy, but you’d just as soon break free from quicksand than overcome the mental undertow that continually pulls you down.
If this sounds like you, I’m glad you’re here. Because I’m going to help you take back control of your mind—a critical step toward freedom from depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and a whole lot of other issues that stem from unhealthy thinking patterns.
This is about learning to tell yourself the truth. Because regardless of what triggered the downward spiral, negative thinking patterns are what prevent you from climbing back up. They’re the things you tell yourself so often you’ve come to believe them without question. And guess what? They are all lies.
If you believe a lie, you’ll live as if it were true.
That’s right, a lie isn’t just a violation of one of the commandments and numerous human laws. A lie could literally change your life without ever being true.
Think about that for a moment.
The ideas I’m about to share were inspired by Winning the War in Your Mind, a book now available in a teen edition (hooray!—see the resources at the end of this post). Winning the war in your mind (in real life—not the book title) begins with targeting the root of your thoughts and identifying the thinking patterns you’re stuck in.
Hi, I’m Lauren Thell, author of Christian YA fiction and blogger for teens who are ready to exceed the world’s expectations.
In This Article
TAKE NOTE! I am not a licensed therapist or psychologist, and this post is in no way exhaustive enough to help someone with clinical depression. If you have regular thoughts of harming yourself or struggle with depression/anxiety to the extent that it severly impairs your ability to function, please seek professional help and the confidences of a trusted friend or mentor. You are certainly invited to continue reading as the suggestions here will work alongside clinical therapy, but do not try to fight it on your own. God puts others in our lives so we can lean on each other.
Tell Yourself the Truth = Get Out of Prison Free
My brother-in-law used to own a hound dog whom he kept confined to a certain portion of their lot through the use of an underground fence. If Buddy ever tried to cross the line, his collar warned him back with a quick zap. It happened frequently in the beginning but Buddy quickly learned where the boundaries fell and that his comfort was assured if he stayed in the safe zone.
If you believe a lie, you’ll live as if it were true.
One day, the fence was turned off. Buddy was free to run without the discomfort of an electrical pulse to stop him. He could’ve roamed the countryside, frolicked with the deer, and checked out the neighbors cows.
But he stayed put. Because he had no idea the door was open, so to speak.
Sometimes, we’re like Buddy. We lock ourselves into lifelong cells through the lies we tell ourselves when we could simply walk right out the door.
What lies keep you captive in a wide-open prison? Here are a few common ones. If you find yourself under the tyranny of any of these negative thoughts, it’s time to walk out the door and be free.
Lie #1: “I’M NOT STRONGER THAN THIS TEMPTATION.”
How many times have you given in because you believed this lie? “I can’t beat it so might as well not try.” Satan loves when Christians give up. Each surrender is a tiny victory for him, and he’ll rub it in your face until you stop fighting altogether.
Don’t let him hijack the battlefield. Tell yourself the truth! You can and should fight temptation, and you don’t have to do it alone.
For help with habitual sin: Check out Plug Into the Power of the Holy Spirit and Help me, Jesus, I just can’t stop!
Lie #2: “NO ONE LOVES ME, THEREFORE I AM UNLOVABLE.”
Would you doubt the love of a friend who rushed into a burning house and gave her life to rescue you? Or a brother who gave up a kidney because you needed one? A father who took your place when you’d been rightfully sentenced to the electric chair?
How about a father who let his son die the death meant for you?
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
To believe you are unloved and unlovable is not only the saddest lie a Christian could possibly believe, but it devalues God’s ability to love. How much you miss when you live as if this were true!
If this hits home for you: Find loving encouragement in Romans 8:38-39 and 1 John 4:7-21. Then check out my post How to Really, Truly Know God Loves You.
Lie #3: “THIS IS JUST THE WAY I AM. I CANNOT CHANGE.”
How do you describe yourself?
A lie could literally change your life without ever being true.
“I’m an introvert. I can’t help that I’m shy.”
“No matter what I do, I can’t lose weight. Forget it.”
“What can I say? Sarcasm is my native tongue.”
“My sexual orientation is ingrained in me. It’s who I am.”
This rut could go on for miles and miles. The power is in realizing, no, you don’t have to be that way and, yes, YOU CAN AND SHOULD CHANGE. Tell yourself the truth. You were created in the image of God. Be holy because he is holy.
To tap into the power of the One who loves you and wants more for you than you allow for yourself, look up Colossians 3:1-17 and Ephesians 4:17-5:21. Then check out my post Happiness And Holiness: Aim High & Go For Both.
Lie #4: “LIFE WILL ALWAYS BE THIS WAY.”
This is another excuse to give up. Why bother if nothing will change?
I’ll always have terrible luck with school or money or relationships or [fill in the blank]. My family will never reunite, my health won’t return, our friendship will never be the same.
If your inner thoughts sound similar to the above, I urge you to step back from the telescope and take in the whole sky. Look at your life not through the lens of one event or circumstance, but through the eyes of eternity.
For more on how to do this: From Silence to Song: How to Find Your Heart of Praise
Lie #5: “I CAN’T HANDLE THIS.”
A rough patch in life might tempt you to believe this lie. Maybe you’re dealing with grief, financial trouble, a broken family, or an injury or illness. It’s tempting to believe whatever you’re going through is bigger than you—and you might be right.
But it’s not bigger than God.
Jesus encouraged the church in Smyrna with these words: “Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer . . . Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life.” (Revelation 2:10)
Tell yourself the truth. With God at your side, you can handle anything life hands you. And I mean ANYTHING.
Looking for courage? See Psalm 121, John 16:33, and my post Lacking Self-Confidence? You Don’t Need It!
Lie #6: “IT’S NOT MY FAULT.”
What do you need to own up to that you haven’t yet admitted fault for? It’s easy to pin the blame on someone else and not acknowledge your own negative contribution to the situation. Little kids do this all the time.
“She started it.”
“I wouldn’t have hit him if he hadn’t made me mad.”
The adult version of this gets even uglier.
When you finally take responsibility for your actions, you take on the power to change the outcome.
Need to own up? A Bible verse to help you out is Proverbs 28:13. And definitely read No Excuses: A Challenge to Own Your Problems.
Lie #8: “THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH WHAT I’M DOING.”
We all have sins we try to justify.
“It’s no big deal. At least I’m not as bad as ________.”
The church in Ephesus was stuck in this rut. They allowed sin to infiltrate their ranks and weren’t doing anything to rid themselves of it. Jesus was very clear in his warning to them:
“Repent therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.”
Revelation 2:16
Be free from the lies you tell yourself! No sin is okay. The first step to purging your life of sin is admitting it doesn’t belong there.
Break free from sin with John 8:34-36, Acts 2:38, and Isaiah 59:2. See also Look in the Mirror: Self-Examination for Christian Teens.
Lie #9: “I’M A FAILURE. I’LL ALWAYS BE A FAILURE.”
See yourself as a failure, and you’ll live like a failure. You’ll stop applying to competitive colleges. You won’t push yourself on the basketball court or audition for a part in the play or run for a spot on the Student Council. And if by some fluke you happen to get the job you want, you won’t give it your best.
Because what’s the point? You’re going to fail anyway.
This is the rut of negative thoughts Satan wants you to stay in, which is why you need to dig a new trench. Tell yourself the truth: Your failures do not define you.
Struggling against failure? These posts may help: Facing Failure: The Bottom Line of Philippians 4:13 and 8 Bible Verses For When You Feel Worthless.
Lie #10: “THIS IS GOOD ENOUGH.”
“God doesn’t expect me to be perfect. My faith is good enough as it is.”
We crucify Christ all over again when we throw up our hands and give up on strengthening our faith and living the holy life. In ancient times, it appears the churches in Sardis and Laodicea had given up on striving for greater holiness, and Jesus berated them for it:
To Sardis: “You have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God.” (Revelation 3:1-2)
To Laodicea: “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot . . . So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” (Revelation 3:15-16)
Don’t settle for good enough! If you knew what you could have by reaching higher in faith, you would never linger in the middle.
Aim for higher faith with Romans 8:17-18, Psalm 19:7-11, and my post Indestructible Faith: Toughen Up When the Waters Rise.
FIGHT TO WIN!
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
1 Corinthians 9:24
Don’t simply train so you won’t lose. Train so that you’ll win the war in your mind and be free from the lies you tell yourself.
Win the War on Negative Thoughts: Resources For Christian Teens
You don’t have to have all the answers.
But, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
As mentioned above, the fabulous book Winning the War in Your Mind by pastor Craig Groeschel is now available in an edition written specifically for teens. If you found any of this post to be helpful, you can take it further with the book.
Another helpful book for Christian teens seeking freedom from depression, anxiety, anger, fear, etc. is Telling Yourself the Truth by William Backus and Marie Chapian. Get a taste of it in my post Change Your Thought Patterns: The Dangerous Rut.
And switch out those negative thoughts with Positive Self-Talk For Christian Teens: Words That Actually Work—which also offers a free printable.
Tell yourself the truth and be free from the lies that hold you hostage!