The Best Remedy For Peer Pressure? Look to the Future

Merriam-Webster defines peer pressure as “a feeling that one must do the same things as other people of one’s age and social group in order to be liked or respected by them.” Most of us, for example, aren’t too tempted to mimic Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter brow styling. But what if you show up at school one day and find everyone else donning bushy, fiery orange eyebrows?

Laugh if you want, but you might find yourself coveting flaming eyebrows when everyone starts pointing and laughing at you because you missed the memo about the school-wide Alice in Wonderland dress-up day.

All joking aside, peer pressure isn’t funny. It’s not the same as positive influence. Your friends can influence you through encouragement, positive examples, and constructive feedback, while leaving the decision to act in your hands.

Peer pressure, on the other hand, is the push to conform. It can be direct—”Come on! Everyone else is drinking”—or indirect, such as when you look around and realize everyone at the party is holding a red Solo cup and you’re the only one empty-handed. The pressure to conform is powerful, often parading as the “safer” option.

Isn’t it better to fit in and be accepted rather than draw attention to myself by being different?

In my experience, the best remedy for peer pressure is to fast forward to the future.

Zoom-In: A Slideshow of the Past Four Years

Picture the scene: It’s the night of your high school graduation. You’re all decked out in cap and gown, sitting with your classmates while your parents watch from the stands with proud tears clouding their vision. In a few moments, you will cross the stage and receive your diploma. But first there’s a slideshow, a review of the last four years.

There’s a picture of the football team decked out in shoulder pads and jerseys, hands raised in victory as they hold up the huge state championship trophy. There’s one of the prom king and queen dancing in all their crowned splendor, and the Math Team huddled over a desk, calcualating mind-numbing equations. On and on, pictures move across the screen, chronicling the highlights of your class’s high school career.

Good times!

But what if, instead of showing a slideshow of the past at your graduation, they played a slideshow of the future twenty years from now? What would you see?

Zoom-Out: A Slideshow of the Future

There would certainly be achievements to boast about. Perhaps the class president is now the president of a bank, and your lab partner from chemistry went on to make an important medical discovery. The pair voted Cutest Couple in your yearbook might now be happily married with three kids. 

But there would also be sad pictures, and pictures that make you cringe. The star quarterback is in prison for killing someone in a drunk driving accident. The prom queen turned to drugs after falling into an abusive relationship. Your class valedictorian might be twice-divorced by then, and the boy whose locker was always next to yours joined the army and died in overseas combat.

Not everybody’s future will be bright.

What’s the lesson here? 

Beware the Pitfall of Trying to Fit In

First, think about all the times you were made to feel inferior because you weren’t as skinny or popular or athletic or [fill in the blank] as someone else. Remember how much it bothered you? Now is the time to realize those things don’t define your future. Success in the “real” world isn’t dependent on how well you fit in as a teenager.

What pressures are you facing today? Imagine yourself following through on them, then fast-forward five, ten, twenty years. Did it make a difference, either positive or negative? Will you look back upon your younger self with shame or pride? Are the peers who pressure you today still going to be a big part of your life down the road?

Does it really matter if they like you now?

Sometimes, all it takes to break the power of peer pressure is zooming out and looking at the big picture—and seeing how today’s monstrous worry will dissipate in the haze of yesterday when high school spits you out. The people whose opinions matter so much now fade into the background as you move forward in life.

How Christian Teens Can Overcome Peer Pressure

1) Keep Your Eyes on the Horizon

As you slog through years of peer pressure and not quite fitting in, it can be hard to remember what’s important. Keep your eyes on the horizon, not on your feet. Choose the path that follows Jesus, and remember, there will be fewer people walking that path so you might feel alone at times.

But here’s a promise you can keep in front of you the whole way:

Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord. There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

Proverbs 23:17-18

2) Remember Who You Are

You are worth so much more than you know, and your value is not decided by your peers. Be the person you were made to be—a Christ-loving, Spirit-breathing, holiness-pursuing, adored child of God.

For more on this, check out these articles:

• Your Identity is In Christ: See How God Sees You
• Why Fit In When You Were Made to Stand Out?
• Priceless: Hope for Young Christians Struggling with Low Self-Esteem

3) Toughen Up!

No, I don’t mean you should become the biggest bully so no one can ever pressure you again. What I mean is toughen your faith so you can stand your ground when the pressure to conform weighs heavily on you.

Check out these posts:

• Let’s Get Uncomfortable: Mental Toughness For Christian Teens
• Indestructible Faith: Toughen Up When the Waters Rise

One-hundred years from now, I will be…

Let me direct you to the last two slides of our Slideshow of the Future. These slides are for the year 2130. One shows a picture of hell in all its ghastly horror, and the other a picture of heaven with its shining brilliance and Jesus right in the center.

Which picture will your face end up on? 

After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands.

Revelation 7:9

This is the ultimate measure of failure and success. It’s not what you accomplish or don’t accomplish in this lifetime, and it’s certainly not about where you fell on the high school social ladder. It’s where you end up after this life on earth. 

Choose Jesus. Let him define your future. Don’t be swayed by the pressure to conform. Follow the light on the horizon. This is the only way your picture in the Slideshow of the Future will ever be shiny and bright!

Dealing With Peer Pressure: More Resources for Teens

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• “Everybody’s Doing It!” How to Overcome the Lie Behind Peer Pressure
• Stand Firm: Pummel Peer Pressure With These Bible Verses
• Tips For Coping With Peer Pressure: This article from Young Minds offer practical advice for what to do on the spot when faced with the pressure to conform.