I’m a big proponent for marrying young (think mid-twenties). If you find an honest, hardworking believer who possesses the qualities of a good boyfriend for Christian girls (any guys reading this can reverse the roles), why waste time being picky? Devoted Christian spouses are difficult to come by these days, so don’t ignore your chance!
But even those who do marry young will find themselves in a period of singlehood alongside those who don’t. For some, it’s a choice. For others, it’s determined by circumstances outside your control. Whatever the reason you find yourself single on Valentine’s Day, let me encourage you to see being single as an opportunity—even during the most romantic holiday of the year.
Hi, I’m Lauren Thell, author of Christian YA fiction and blogger for teens who are ready to exceed the world’s expectations.
In This Article
Being Single on Valentine’s Day is Not a Punishment
V-Day used to be sort of depressing for me as a teen. I love chocolate and flowers and all things red, but I would’ve loved even more to have had that special guy to give them to me. To me, singlehood was a sort of penance that one has to pay, kind of like spending a month in the wilderness eating twigs, sleeping on a bed of pine needles, and taking freezing cold baths in the lake.
God does not intend singlehood to be a form of punishment.
More punishment than opportunity.
I understand the heartache of being lonely, but God does not intend singlehood to be a form of punishment. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, look at what you do. Remember the blessings found in deep friendships with members of your own gender. Or the unique bond between siblings.
Challenge #1: This Valentine’s Day, consider giving a close friend or family member a token of your love and appreciation. Some of the most beautiful and cherished Valentines I ever received came from women who were dear in my life. A card, a note, a small gift—anything to express love to someone who maybe isn’t always appreciated.
For more on this: True Love On Valentine’s Day, No Matter Your Relationship Status
Find Fulfillment As A Single Who Serves God
If you find yourself walking through a season of singlehood, think of it as an opportunity for spiritual growth.
Jesus never dated or married. Neither did Paul or John the Baptist, and look at the incredible ministries each had. Romance and marriage are gifts from God and because of this, I never reccommend anyone swear off marriage completely. But relationships really do make it harder to concentrate on anything else. You now have to add meeting the needs of another to the list of things you do every day to serve God.
Therefore, if you find yourself walking through a season of singlehood—whether on Valentine’s Day or any day—think of it as an opportunity for spiritual growth. Get to know your Savior and his Word even more. Now is the time to build healthy habits you can carry into the rest of your life.
Challenge #2: Work on building up your devotional and prayer time. Take advantage of all the Bible studies your church and youth group have to offer. Or start one of your own with your friends. Get involved in (or start) a ministry that is dear to your heart. As a bonus, you might meet that Christian mate you’ve been patiently waiting for!
For more on this: Prepare Yourself For Marriage Before You Find “The One”
Let Jesus Fulfill Your Every Need
Thinking you “need” a boyfriend or husband right now will get in the way of realizing that what your really need is Jesus. And he is more than enough. Consider these words from Psalm 145:
“The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.”
Psalm 145:17-19
Relationships fail, people fall short. But Jesus will never let you down. Now that is the ultimate Valentine!
Challenge #3: Seek God as the ultimate source of pleasure.
More Encouragement For Singles on Valentine’s Day And Every Day
You don’t have to have all the answers.
but, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
I highly recommend all single women check out the GirlDefined website. There, you’ll find lots of uplifting posts for women, especially singles. Anytime I head over to their site, I feel like I’m a part of a sisterhood.
For the guys out there, check out Cru.org. Though the site isn’t strictly for males, the Christian guy who wants to strengthen his faith will find plenty of resources.
And happy Valentine’s Day—because God loves you!