Do you ever feel like Valentine’s Day is one giant spotlight on what you don’t have?
The school hallway is awash in reds and pinks. Couples are holding hands and exchanging boxes of chocolates and teddy bears clutching hearts. Your best friend just got a bouquet of red carnations from her crush, and the boyfriend of the girl whose locker is next to yours is blocking you from retrieving your books as he serenades his girl with Broadway’s best.
It’s like they’re all trying to point out one teensy, yet crucial detail, which is, you don’t have a boyfriend.
Even those who marry young will endure a period of singlehood. For some, it’s a choice. For others, it’s determined by circumstances outside your control—like, your parents won’t let you date yet. Still, for many singles, Valentine’s Day is a holiday of loneliness and frustration.
But what if, instead of dwelling on what you’re missing this Valentine’s Day, you accepted an invitation to something deeper? For Christian teens, fulfillment was never meant to come from a relationship status anyway. That’s why it’s still possible to find fulfillment as a single on Valentine’s Day. So before you mute your group chats or swear off romance forever, let’s talk about how you can view being single as an opportunity—even during the most romantic holiday of the year.
Hey, I’m Lauren, author of YA Christian fiction and blogger for teens with higher aim.
In This Article
Being Single on Valentine’s Day is Not a Punishment
V-Day used to be sort of depressing for me as a teen. I love chocolate and flowers and all things red, but I would’ve loved even more to have had that special guy to give them to me. To me, singlehood was a sort of penance that one has to pay, like spending a month in the wilderness eating twigs, sleeping on a bed of pine needles, and taking freezing cold baths in the lake.
God does not intend singlehood to be a form of punishment.
More punishment than opportunity.
I understand the heartache of loneliness but God does not intend singlehood to be a form of punishment. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, look at what you do. Remember the blessings found in deep friendships with members of your own gender. Or the unique bond between siblings.
Challenge #1: This Valentine’s Day, consider giving a close friend or family member a token of your love and appreciation. Some of the most beautiful and cherished Valentines I ever received came from women who were dear in my life. A card, a note, a small gift—anything to express love to someone who maybe isn’t always appreciated.
For more on this: True Love On Valentine’s Day, No Matter Your Relationship Status
Use This Time to Fortify Your Faith
When you’re dating, your time is spent studying someone else: his needs, his wants, his nuances, etc. It’s fun and exciting but it takes time. Christian teens who find themselves single on Valentine’s Day have the unique opportunity to focus more on matters of faith.
This is your chance to learn more about your God: his will, his promises, his love, etc. Instead of spending time reading through every sappy Valentine’s card in the Hallmark aisle, embark on a journey of spiritual growth. Get to know your Savior and his Word even more. Now is the time to build healthy habits you can carry into the rest of your life.
Challenge #2: Make Valentine’s Day the day you start something new to enhance your spiritual life, like additional devotional time or joining a Bible study at church. Or start your own Bible study with your friends. Get involved in (or start) a ministry that is dear to your heart. (As a bonus, you might meet that Christian mate you’ve been patiently waiting for!)
Find Fulfillment As A Single Who Serves God
Jesus never dated or married. Neither did Paul or John the Baptist, and look at the incredible ministries each had. Relationships are gifts from God and another wonderful way to serve him but they also have a tendency to draw your focus from him.
Your time as a single is a great time to find your groove serving God.
Challenge #3: What will your personal ministry be? Evangelism? Working with kids? Encouraging your friends in their faith? Make Valentine’s Day the day you embark on a journey of serving God through holy living.
Find Fulfillment As a Single Who Serves Others
Don’t have a sweetie to impress on Valentine’s Day? Give your time to the community. Soup kitchens and roadside litter pickup aren’t the only ways to serve others. You can also serve by making changes in yourself that bless those around you—like cleaning up your language.
Challenge #4: Identify something you can do to contribute to society—and start doing it!
Resources to Help You Serve Others:
Let Jesus Fulfill Your Every Need
Thinking you “need” a boyfriend or husband right now will get in the way of realizing that what you really need is Jesus. And he is more than enough. Consider these words from Psalm 145:
“The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.”
Psalm 145:17-19
Relationships fail, people fall short, but Jesus will never let you down. That is the ultimate Valentine!
Challenge #5: Seek God as the ultimate source of pleasure.
More Encouragement For Christian Teens on Valentine’s Day And Every Day
You don’t have to have all the answers.
But, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
I highly recommend all single Christian women check out the GirlDefined website, where you’ll find a plethora of uplifting posts and encouragement for single women. It truly is a sisterhood!
For the guys out there, check out Cru.org. Though the site isn’t strictly for males, the Christian guy who wants to strengthen his faith will find plenty of resources.
More Valentine’s Day posts from my blog:
- True Love on Valentine’s Day, No Matter Your Relationship Status
- Happy Valentine’s Day To My Enemy, With Love