Are you married to your comfort zone? Is acceptance of yourself preventing you from becoming who God made you to be?
In just over a month (as of this writing), my debut YA Christian novel Edges & Other Hard Things, starring a teen girl with Sensory Processing Disorder, will launch to the market. I’ve gotten lots of commendations for writing a character with SPD. It’s something more people can relate to than I ever imagined (just read the opening chapter and see if it stresses you out), and I’m thrilled to reach readers in this manner. But…
Would you like to know the truth?
I didn’t write Edges & Other Hard Things to promote diversity, inclusion, sensitivity, or even SPD awareness. Commendable as those topics may be, Rhapsodie’s story is much more personal. It’s about challenging a lie:
“This is the way God made me, and I cannot change it.”
Do you look in the mirror every morning and see the same face, the same scars, the same limits, quirks, and qualities, and find yourself accepting what you see as if it were an act of obedience? You’re not wrong. But what happens when acceptance turns into a comfort zone that begins to feel less like peace and more like a cage?
Is it possible that accepting your God-given lot is costing you everything you were meant to give—and keeping you from becoming who God wants you to be?
This is the question Rhapsodie must answer in Edges & Other Hard Things, and it’s a challenge everyone faces sooner or later. So let’s talk about contentment versus complacency, stepping out of your comfort zone, and the danger of settling for a smaller version of the life God has called you into.
Hey, I’m Lauren, author of YA Christian fiction and blogger for teens with higher aim.
In This Article
Accepting Your Lot in Life
Maybe it’s not a sensory disorder that’s holding you back. Maybe it’s a chronic disease, birth defect, or another disability. Maybe it’s a physical or mental limitation you can’t overcome. Or a situation over which you have no control. You lost your father when you were very young, and your family has struggled financially ever since. Or you live in an area where your particular ethnicity/religious background is not well-received.
Either way, you’re facing an obstacle you didn’t put there and can’t remove. The apostle Paul might call this a “thorn in [your] flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7). You can’t get rid of it, ignore it, or do anything to otherwise make it disappear. But if you’ve struggled with it long enough, you might have figured out how to accept it.
You Are Unique & Fearfully Made
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Psalm 139:13-14
Rhapsodie understood the concept of acceptance. She wasn’t angry with God for allowing her to be born with Sensory Processing Disorder, despite the hardships it creates (including upheaval within her family).
“He made me the way I am, sensory issues and all, so He knows my limitations.”
Rhaspodie, in Edges & Other Hard Things
Acceptance means recognizing that God created you, and what God makes is always good. It takes a mature person to accept what might seem like a disadvantage, and for many, this is a major stumbling block.
“Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.”
Psalm 16:5-6
But accepting your “portion and cup” is not synonymous with accepting stagnancy. Perhaps the greatest hidden danger to spiritual growth is, “This is the way I am; I cannot change it,” because such a statement gives the appearance of great faith.
Complacency is not the same as contentment, however. God created you with certain attributes, but that doesn’t mean He wants you to be stagnant.
Becoming Who God Made You to Be = Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone
There is a fine line to be drawn here. On the one hand, it’s important to accept that each of us has limitations and, no, not everything is possible. (See How to Overcome Failure: The Bottom Line of Philippians 4:13.) But when you start using acceptance as an excuse to avoid growth, you’re missing the point.
“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 1:6
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Ephesians 4:22-24
God made you unique, and with that comes unique ways to serve Him. Every person, regardless of obstacles, can grow and serve God. And how you serve God in ten years should not look exactly the same as it does today.
Maybe you’ll never win a race, but that’s no excuse not to exercise.
Maybe you’ll never win a race, but that’s no excuse not to exercise.
Social anxiety might be a real thing for you, but hiding in your room is not a long-term solution.
You might not be as eloquent with words as X, but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook for learning how to share your faith with a stranger. (BTW, if that terrifies you, check out How to Talk About Jesus With Almost Anyone.)
Are YOU Stuck in Stagnancy?
Where might your growth be lagging? Where has resignation stalled personal growth—physically, mentally, and spiritually? Some questions to ask yourself:
- Am I serving God to the best of my current abilities?
- Am I looking for ways to expand my abilities and serve God further?
- Where am I holding myself back because I’m focused on the obstacles instead of God?
- What explanations have I been using as excuses?
In examining yourself, I encourage you to pray the prayer of Psalm 139:
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalm 139:23
If you ask, God will show you all the ways He desires for you to grow!
Become the Person You Already Are
Your identity is in Christ. Be who you already are in Christ.
Do you like plot twists? Then here’s one for you:
The goal isn’t so much becoming who God made you to be, but to become the person you already are.
You are someone who has been brought to life in Christ (1 Corinthians 15:22). You are already a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). You know God (John 17:3).
Your identity is in Christ. Be who you already are in Christ.
Related: Your Identity is in Christ: See How God Sees You
You’ll have to read Edges & Other Hard Things to see how this challenge plays out for Rhapsodie. Approaching the edge of your comfort zone is scary, especially after you’ve spent a lot of time safely within its boundaries.
So get comfortable being uncomfortable, and go out and do hard things!
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9
More Posts On Growth for Christian Teens
You don’t have to have all the answers.
But, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
I really loved this post!! ❤️ I especially loved the reminder that there’s a difference between being content with where God has placed us and becoming complacent. Sometimes it can be so easy to tell ourselves, “This is just how I am,” when God may actually be calling us to grow, step outside of our comfort zones, and trust Him with the uncomfortable things.
I also really loved what you said about becoming the person we already are in Christ. That really stood out to me because our identity isn’t something we have to earn or create for ourselves—it’s something God has already given us. We just have to learn to live like who He says we are.
Thank you for sharing this! It definitely gave me something to think and pray about. 💕
Well said!
Thank you, Lauren. I needed this message today.