In What’s the Big Deal About Christian Girls and Modesty, I talked about the importance of modesty for Christian girls and women and it all boiled down to intent:
What do you want the world to know about you?
This is your chance to be an influencer—to reinforce your value as a person, not an object, and draw respect from those around you. Wise clothing choices allow you to step out of the body-equals-value pitfall and embrace that which you were created to do: draw eyes to Jesus.
So, practically speaking, how do you do that? In this post, I lay out practical steps for creating a stylish, modest wardrobe—something beyond me telling you to be careful about showing too much skin below the neck or above the knee.
Because you were made for so much more!
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In This Article
CREATE A STYLISH, MODEST WARDROBE IN 5 STEPS
Step 1: Do some research.
In the middle of writing this post, I googled “modest teen clothing” and poked through some of the results. Jen Clothing has pretty dresses but here’s the frustrating part. When you type in a phrase like “modest fashion,” the search results will only take you to sites dedicated to that quality, and let’s be real. Either you’ll find clothing that is out of most budgets, or clothing that really doesn’t strike the style fancy of young ladies.
But search for it anyway. Click on the websites, browse, see what modest can look like, and imagine what it might feel like on you.Â
Step 2: Take a good, honest look at your current wardrobe.
I’m serious about being honest with yourself. This won’t work if you try to justify everything you own. What you might see as an innocent peephole in your blouse or a minuscule show of the midriff may not come off so innocently to a bystander.
Do you wear tight pants or own a lot of kind-of-short skirts? Would you wear that outfit to your grandparents’ fiftieth-anniversary party? Would you wear it if Jesus were standing next to you?
Because he is.
Step 3: Find a fashion role model.
Having a vision helps you realize that modesty and style can coexist in a wardrobe.
A fashion role model is a great help for anyone trying to hone her sense of style. Your role model can be a popular fashion icon or a woman in your life whose style you’ve always admired but choose someone who you think dresses modestly with class. Historically, Audrey Hepburn, Jackie Kennedy, and Kate Middleton have inspired the styles of many women.
Just remember: no icon is perfect. Just because Audrey Hepburn once wore that tight black top doesn’t mean you should too. But having a vision helps you realize that modesty and style can coexist in a wardrobe.
Because we still want you to feel good in what you wear!
Step 4: Take what you’ve found and shop where you love.
This is the fun part. Once you have a vision of modest fashion in your head—and an idea of how to make that part of your style—take a field trip to your favorite store!
Focus on what you can wear, instead of what you can’t.
Browse the selections and put every item you find through your “modesty filter.” Is this top long enough to cover my midsection? Would these pants attract the wrong kind of attention? Is the cut of this dress going to draw too much attention to my backside?
Here’s the thing: Maybe you love shopping at Old Navy but Old Navy is unlikely to come up in a search for modest clothing. That does not mean that everything in the store is immodest. You need to train your eyes to pick out the stylishly modest pieces and leave the rest on the shelf.
And if you find yourself at your favorite store and suddenly realize nothing they sell could ever be considered modest, it’s time to find another store.
While you’re at the store, remember your fashion role model and consider whether anything you see would be something she might wear. You’re not trying to look like a stunt double of her. The idea of having a fashion role model is to give you a vision of modest fashion that focuses on what you can wear, instead of what you cannot. Â
Step 5: Try it on for style.
Now that you’ve taken stock of what’s available and found a few things you like, try them on. Create your own style. Dressing modestly doesn’t mean we’re all wearing floor-length missionary dresses with no shape. If you’ve done the suggested research, you’ve already seen that a stylish, modest wardrobe embraces clothing that better compliments your figure. And complimentary cuts actually draw less attention to the body and more attention to the respectability of the woman.
See how that works?
While you’re shopping, only consider clothing that would honestly be modest. Don’t even think of trying on something that barely covers the hanger it’s hanging on.
A FEW SPECIFICS
Notice I am not telling you exactly how long your skirts should be or how low your blouses can hang. You can find plenty of advice about that by typing in “tips for modest dressing” or “how to dress modestly but cute” in your search engine. (I posted one such link at the bottom of this article.)
I highly recommend you discuss your findings with a trusted mentor (mom, aunt, older sister, beloved teacher) who shares your faith and ideals. Interestingly, dads are also a great resource for vetting out modest clothing.
But I do want to address two items.
Be careful with leggings.
Leggings are everywhere! They’ve become one of the hottest clothing items in recent years and they come in every imaginable color and print. But, if you’re truly committed to modesty, you must be painfully honest about this one.Â
Would you paint your skin glossy black or bright blue like a member of the Blue Man Group and go out in public wearing only that?
Leggings are no different.Â
Not convinced? Do some people-watching. Sit outside Wal-Mart or take a stroll through a busy mall, and observe with an objective eye the prevalence (and awfulness) of leggings in modern style.
If you have them and love them, wear them with dresses and tops that cover your backside completely.
The Swimsuit Aisle
Since we’re being honest, let’s talk swimsuits because this is an area where we all struggle. Even Christian women (myself included) with an eye for modest fashion tend to loosen their standards when they put on a swimsuit.
When you look at swimwear catalogs and websites, it’s no wonder. With rare exceptions, swimsuits aren’t modest. I’ve worn swimsuits with features I would never consider in my everyday clothing.
So what’s a Christian girl to do?
This is where I urge you to talk to your parents or another trusted Christian adult or mentor. I highly recommend including a trusted male in the conversation. Males have a different perspective and might help you to see the big picture. They can offer tips on dressing modestly that many of us never would’ve thought of.
While I won’t give you a long list of swimsuit shopping guidelines, here’s one piece of advice too valuable for me to keep to myself. Ready for some big sister tough love?
Bikinis are a really bad idea. All bikinis. Re-read Part 1 of this post if you still don’t understand why.
DRESS TO BUILD OTHERS UP
When you align your wardrobe to reflect your godly morals, I bet you’ll find that people—both guys and gals—are more comfortable around you. They’ll see you for your genuine friendliness, your bubbly personality, and your beautiful soul.
Got a great body and wish you could show it off? Good! Save it for your future husband’s eyes. Guys like having exclusive rights anyway.
“Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”
Matthew 5:16
For Further Reading on Faith & Modesty
You don’t have to have all the answers.
but, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
So what’s the verdict: Are we supposed to consider guys when we dress ourselves or not? I tackle this tough topic in Is Female Immodesty Responsible For Male Lust?
For a great reminder of who you are (and how modesty fits into that), see Why Fit In When You Were Made to Stand Out?
What about makeup? Is makeup allowed in modest fashion? Consider the answer to that in Is it Okay For Christian Women to Wear Makeup?
Finally, take a look at the world of fashion from a different angle in A Christian Girl’s Perspective on Fashion.
