Have you ever looked back on a moment in your life and suddenly realized you messed up? Bombed it, dropped the ball, missed the mark, bit the dust, went down like a lead balloon . . . you know, completely failed?
Let me tell you about one of mine. If you’ve ever struggled with sharing your faith with a friend, you’ll see that you are not alone.
Hi, I’m Lauren Thell, author of Christian YA fiction and blogger for teens who are ready to exceed the world’s expectations.
In This Article
When I was in middle school, I became friends with a boy named Tripp (not his real name). Tripp played the saxophone, I played the French Horn and, if you know anything about small-town school bands, they often have no idea what to do with the lone horn player. So she usually ends up stuck with the saxophones.
And if you know anything about saxophones, they can be extremely annoying. At least until the player reaches the level of Kenny G.
Tripp made this unfortunate setup more tolerable. We were music nerds, brainiacs—kindred spirits. By high school, we became part of a small, tight-knit group of equally uncool but higher-thinking teens that did things like play Uno, canoe the Kickapoo River, and hang out at each other’s houses with no goal but to pass time picking on each other.
An Unusual Adoption
Tripp was an only child, and since I was the youngest of two girls, I decided it wasn’t right for him to have no siblings. So somewhere during the course of high school, I “adopted” him. This became a running joke. He teased me like a brother, with a healthy does of good-natured competition. We were both A students, but he was just a hair better than I and it annoyed me to no end. I got a 29 on my ACT after two tries, Tripp got a 32 first shot. (FYI, the national average hovers around 21. The highest possible score is 36.)
I have a mental picture of him coolly slumped in his chair during the high-stress exam, working through the questions with the same ease one might use when filling out a personal interest survey for an online dating site.
But mostly we just meshed really well and I knew I could be myself around him. I’m pretty sure he felt the same way with me.
Matters of Faith
Tripp claimed to be a Christian. He and his family never went to church but he shared my interest in contemporary Christian music. Talking about music was about as deep into religious discussions as we got.
The blissful years of high school ended when I graduated and left for college. Tripp graduated a year later and though we attended colleges in the same city, we didn’t see each other much. Our core group of friends met less and less and our relationship slowly cooled. Eventually, we both married (not to each other). I invited Tripp to my wedding and he forgot to come—which pretty much sums up the vibe of our relationship at that point. Likewise, he invited me to his and I had another obligation deemed more important at the time.
The last time we saw each other was about ten years ago at another friend’s wedding, and it was just like old times.
Except, that was it. We haven’t seen each other since. We’ve buried each other in long lists of Facebook friends and now view each other’s lives from a distance. I reminisce to myself about days long gone, while at the same time kicking myself for not really sharing my faith.
But Here’s the Thing…
Declaring he was my brother may have started as a joke, but I really did care for him. So why didn’t I make the adoption complete?
Why didn’t I truly adopt him as a brother in Christ? Why didn’t I ask him about his faith and beliefs? One can claim to be Christian, but did Tripp truly know Christ died for him and took away every last crumb of sin from his tainted hands?
If his parents weren’t taking him to church, who was encouraging his faith? Did Tripp read his Bible regularly and understand it? Did he pray?
I’m ashamed to admit I don’t know the answers to any of these questions. I don’t know, because I didn’t ask. We didn’t talk about the meaningful stuff. I don’t know how deep the water was because I never went fishing. I was confident in my own faith, but I wasn’t confident enough to ask him about his.
As his surrogate sister, I failed.
The Moral of the Story?
Don’t let the opportunity to share your faith walk away! Don’t be as blind as I was. The importance of our job in preaching the gospel to the world cannot be stressed enough. Check out what Paul says in Romans 10:13-14:
“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?
I had it in my hands, and I kept it to myself. Shame on me.
Not the End of the Story
If you think this tale has a sad ending, think again.
Am I really so arrogant as to think Tripp’s salvation was entirely up to me, that I was his only hope? Absolutely not. God doesn’t need me in the same dire way I need him, and he could just as easily use someone else to set my “adopted” brother on the right course. As Christians, we must be on guard for when the moment comes to share Jesus with someone else.
But it’s not an epic failure if we fail.
Remember, the way you live and conduct yourself in everyday life can have more influence on others than you realize. Maybe I was more of an influence on Tripp than I think. Perhaps I shared my faith just by being me.
In the same way, you—right now—might be impacting someone simply by being the person God created you to be.
And, sometimes, the timing is just wrong. I often wonder if not speaking up meant I ignored the Holy Spirit. In fact, it may have been the Holy Spirit who moved me to hold back. Perhaps that moment in Tripp’s life wasn’t the right time for a heavy discourse on faith. Perhaps what he needed most from me was a good friend.
We do not know everything God knows about a given person and his or her needs.
We Do Not Know God’s Plan, Except That It Is Good.
I am reminded of one of my favorite passages in the Bible:
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth…so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
Isaiah 55:9-11
Let the Spirit move you to talk, to act—to be what God needs you to be at that moment—and never forget you are not working alone. In my short story One White Dark Night, sixteen-year-old Raine shares her faith through a simple scripture verse in an uncertain moment, and the results alter the course of a boy’s life.
You may not see the outcome until you get to heaven.
You don’t have to have all the answers.
but, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
Keep Sharing Your Faith!
Today, Tripp is on my daily prayer list of Most Wanted Souls, a list consisting mostly of family members. Which is appropriate for the man I once called brother. I pray for him every morning and I don’t regret how I failed him because I know his Creator hasn’t. He’s in good hands.
God doesn’t miss the opportunities.
More Resources on Sharing Your Faith in Love
- Speak the Truth in Love: A How-To From the Garden
- They Will Know You By Your Love: 4 Ways to Embody the Gospel Through Your Friendships (article from The Rebelultion)
You don’t have to have all the answers.
but, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.