When You’re Too Embarrassed to Invite Friends to Church

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been too embarrassed to invite friends to church because of what they might encounter when they showed up.

Yep, me too.

Usually it’s because I’m afraid they won’t “get” it. Not just the teachings, but the service itself, the music, even the people. I grew up in an old-style church where hymns were led by the organ, the pastor wore a long white or black robe, and services followed an organized but otherwise unimaginative liturgy.

Don’t misunderstand me—there’s nothing wrong with this type of worship. I personally love it and still attend the same type of church today. But in our world of face-paced entertainment, it sometimes worries me that my friends will find the services boring and be turned off to church and God altogether.

Maybe you have the opposite problem and your church services are loud and boisterous with altar calls and hands waving in the air. Nothing wrong with this either, but do you worry that your friends might think you’re all a little psychotic when they witness it for the first time?

One Big Quirky Family

Have you ever been too embarrassed to invite a new friend to your house? You’re afraid your dad will call you by your embarrassing kiddie nickname, your mom might serve that really smelly cabbage soup she loves, and the dog will throw up on the carpet (again). You love them, yes, and no family is perfect. But none could be as off-the-wall weird as yours, right?

Churches are sort of like families. There is a time for enacting necessary change, but ultimately, you learn to accept their quirks and nuances. As long as the Word of God is preached in pure, unadulterated form, your church has something huge to offer any friend of yours.

Which means NOT inviting them to church means they miss out. Never negate the importance of church.

So how do you get past the awkwardness and fear? Remember these four tips the next time you’re too embarrassed to invite friends to church.

How to Be Bold When You’re Embarrassed to Invite Friends to Church

1) Don’t give any disclaimers.

“Our pastor is a drone.”

“The organist plays like a octagenarian with wrist weights.”

“Everyone in our congregation is old enough to have been Moses’ third cousin.”

You may think you are helping your friend by warning him about your congregation’s anomalies, but you’re actually setting him up for failure. I guarantee that if you point out ahead of time all of the things that you find weird about your church that’s what he’ll be looking for and he won’t be listening to the message. 

Keep in mind that what bothers you might not be a bother to someone else unless you make it that way. The things that make you too embarrassed to invite friends to your church might be welcome in their eyes.

2) Focus on the good they will find: God’s Word.

Why did you ask your friend to church in the first place? You were probably thinking along the lines of what Paul said in Ephesians 1:17-19:

“I keep praying that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, will give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation in knowing Christ fully. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know the hope to which he has called you, just how rich his glorious inheritance among the saints is, and just how surpassingly great his power is for us who believe.” 

In short, you want her to know God and his saving love, and that comes through hearing his Word. Church is the place for that. 

3) Set a good example.

Don’t roll your eyes during the sermon or snicker at Mrs. Smith’s warbling during Amazing Grace. Come with listening ears and an open heart, just like you would want your friend to do. Church is for your benefit too!

4) Let the Holy Spirit take it from there.

You’ve done your job, the job of opening the invitation and bringing your friend to learn more about Jesus. You’ve planted the seed, so trust that the Holy Spirit will water it through the Word. It doesn’t take a rip-roaring rock concert-style church service for that to happen!

For more about the importance of church in a young Christian’s life, check out my other posts about church.

Still Too Embarrassed to Invite Friends to Church?

Why not start with your youth group (if you’re lucky enough to have one)? Check out How To Invite Your Friends to Youth Group…Without Being Weird (article from Life Teen).