Your Deepest Desires: The Truth About Habitual Sin

Habitual sins (which I often refer to as “pet” sins) are a problem for everyone, from the serial killer sitting in prison to the most pious Christian in your church. Did you think you were alone in this struggle? Be assured, you’re in good company. Habitual sins are those you return to time and again—the temptations that call your name louder than any other—and though you might struggle with lust while your cousin struggles with greed and your best friend with envy, the effect of habitual sin is the same for all. 

You feel powerless to fight it. You’ve tried everything, and yet, it still tugs at your heart, calling you to give in. You know it’s wrong, but what’s the point? It never goes away.

Don’t despair. You can overcome your strongest temptations and break the cycle. But first, you need to face the truth about habitual sin: 

Habitual sin stems from a deep place in your soul that longs to be filled with something more.

Habitual Sin: Poor Self-Control or Unmet Needs?

My husband and I raise chickens. As far as farm animals go, chickens are rather giving and undemanding. Provide them with a well-balanced diet and appropriate space and you’ll reap an abundance of fresh eggs every day. And nothing beats farm-fresh scrambled eggs.

But sometimes things go wrong. I’ll go outside one day to collect eggs and find one hen stripped of her feathers after being bullied by the others. Establishing a “pecking order” is not unusual for chickens, but when I look around and find that all of them have bald spots, something is off. The vicious plucking of feathers throughout the flock is always a symptom of a greater problem—a deficiency or stressor of some sort. They might not have enough protein in their diet, or their space is too cramped, or whatever, but until you address the underlying issue, the habit will not cease.

Think about how this applies to your situation as a human. You were cursed from birth, destined to fight your sinful longings until the day you die—and some of those longings are stronger than others. You might not be tempted by the alcohol in your parents’ fridge, but you can’t pass up a steamy novel with a racy cover when browsing at Barnes & Noble. And you’d never breathe a word of profanity, but gossip pours from your mouth like a high-powered fire hose.

How can one possibly fight sin if it’s ingrained in you? As with the feather-plucking chickens, your sin has a root cause, stemming from a deeper longing you’re struggling to fulfill.

Where Does Temptation Begin?

Temptation starts with a God-given desire. Sound ridiculous? Think about the things people are tempted by: power, food, money, fame, material possessions, sex. Which of these is bad in and of itself? None. They are all gifts from God. Therefore, we can draw one of two conclusions:

The problem is our tendency to take a God-given desire beyond God-given boundaries.

1. Not everything God gives us is good, or
2. Our distorted human nature takes these wonderful things way too far, assuming they are all we need to be fulfilled.

Since we know God is good and perfect (check out Psalm 18:30), we must humbly—and perhaps begrudgingly—conclude that the problem is our tendency to take a God-given desire beyond God-given boundaries.

A Word About Boundaries

God is the all-time inventor. He knows how everything works, and how much it can take before it falls apart. The maker of your car knows what kind of gas you should put in the tank and how far you can go between oil changes, and he gives you an owner’s manual, not to be mean or stop you from having a good time (if one could call putting diesel fuel in the tank of a Ford Focus a good time), but to protect you and your vehicle.

Not following those boundaries results in chaos and destruction. It’s not a matter of if, but when.

It’s the same with God. He gives us good things to enhance our earthly lives, but they all contain limits and, when not used properly, lead to chaos and destruction.

How Temptation Grows

For most of us, a gooey slice of chocolate cake holds little temptation when we’re stuffed to the brim. When your stomach is satisfied, you can turn down the offer of more food.

It’s when you’re hungry that temptation skyrockets.

This doesn’t just apply to food, and it’s not just hunger that elevates temptation. In fact, the acronym HALT outlines the times when temptation heightens: when you’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.

Think beyond the physical hunger you feel right before lunch. The hunger that leads to sin might arise from a deep, emotional emptiness that’s never been satisfied. The anger could be hot, in-the-moment rage, or it could be a festering ire from a past wrong. Loneliness can stem from both physical isolation and mental isolation. And being tired can come from the exhaustion of a busy day or the exhaustion of living a life where you’re constantly beaten down.

Hunger, anger, loneliness, and exhaustion increase common temptations.

James 1:13-15 outlines the pattern for temptation’s muddy slope: 

“When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” 

Loneliness doesn’t cause you to sin, but it can definitely initiate the landslide. The desperately lonely person may be struggling with loss, rejection, abandonment, or any number of issues. So when she finds herself caught up in yet another sexual relationship, it’s not because she can’t live without sex but because she’s desperate to feed the ache within.

PLEASE DON’T MISUNDERSTAND! I’m not excusing your sin. Sin is sin, regardless of the reasons that led you to do it. But, as with my chickens, solving the problem requires identifying the root cause.

What Does Your Temptation Tell You About Yourself?

What underlying problems feed your temptation? What conflicts or issues are you ignoring or failing to identify? Take a moment to contemplate the root desires you’re struggling to satiate.

• Are you lonely, the kind of loneliness that isn’t cured in social settings?
• Do you feel an internal emptiness?
• Are you hanging on to hurt or anger from past experiences or relationships?
• Are you struggling with shame over a sin you committed or a sin committed against you?
• Have you been made to feel worthless by a parent, guardian, friend, or past romantic interest?
• Do you feel abandoned by someone of great importance in your life?
• Do you struggle with low self-esteem or poor body image?
• Have you experienced (either currently or in the past) a physical deficit such as money, food, a safe home, or clothing?
• Do you fear being controlled because of a past controlling relationship?
• Is there a negative character trait (i.e. laziness, indecisiveness, or impulsiveness) in yourself that you refuse to face?
• Do you thirst for an “experience” that will make you feel alive to counteract the dull image you have of yourself?
• Are you looking for safety and security?
• Do you have a hunger for something more, something you can’t quite lay a finger on?

You might need to talk to a close friend, someone who knows you well, to sort out all the layers. Or a counselor or mentor. But don’t glaze over the truth, or you’ll be right back to where your struggle started.

The Truth About Habitual Sin: Why It Will Never Satisfy You

Back to the chickens: Suppose the underlying issue is their coop is overcrowded, leading to stress. I can tweak their diet all I want, but if I don’t give them a bigger space, they won’t move beyond the temptation to mutilate each other. And, let’s be real, plucking each other’s feathers will not satisfy their need for more space. It’s tempting for us to shake our heads and label them as “dumb creatures”…and yet, we do the same.

We commit sin because we think it will satisfy our craving. Every sin is born out of the belief that disobedience to God will yield a happier outcome than pursuing holiness. See how Eve fell for it in the Garden of Eden:

“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”

Genesis 3:6

Notice the triggers here: good for food…pleasing to the eye…desirable. This moment has desire written all over it, and it’s the first time the cravings of a human drove her to worldly things to satisfy her needs outside of the Creator.

It didn’t go well, as the rest of the Bible shows. And every sin since has been a rerun of the original sin.

In the heat of desire, sin might seem desirable. You and your boyfriend might both want sex and maybe it feels completely good and right at the time. But in the end, the true need goes unfulfilled, leading you to do it again and again in greater ways.

This isn’t merely a battle for self-control. It’s a battle for happiness. You try to satisfy your deepest longings with things that will never fulfill. It’s why one erotic novel isn’t enough, why soft porn escalates to hard porn, and one beer becomes fifteen. It’s like rubbing sweet-smelling lotion on your soul when it’s parched and desperate for a long drink of cool, fresh water.

So what’s the solution? Jesus.

Satisfy Your Deepest Desires With Real Food

“Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.”

John 6:27

Jesus spoke these words after feeding 5,000+ hungry people with the ancient equivalent of five loves of Sara Lee and four Van de Kamp’s fillets. He didn’t do it simply because it was a cool trick that filled their bellies, however. This was a lesson in how God provides satisfaction for your truest needs.

“Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.’”

John 6:35

Lasting fulfillment is not found in the gifts (sex, power, money, possessions) but in the Giver. You and I are wired to be satisfied in him. He’s the one our souls desire and long for.

What Can I Do to Fight Sin?

1) Don’t make the issue more complex than it is.

Sin is really quite simple: 

• “All wrongdoing is sin.” (1 John 5:17) 
• Sin happens when we are “dragged away by our own evil desire” (James 1:14). 

No need for scientific data or a psychological analysis. God gave you desires so you can appreciate his gifts. Sin arises from misplaced desire. 

2 ) Take a magnifying glass to your soul.

Simple doesn’t mean easy. Breaking free from the cycle of habitual sin requires diligent prayer and an honest self-examination to locate the void inside yourself. Look hard. What personal issues do you need to identify and address?

See my post Look Truth in the Eye: Self-Examination For Christian Teens

3) Tell yourself the truth.

It’s time to reject the lies you’ve fallen for. “One more time” will not satisfy the craving. Earthly pleasures will not fill a God-sized hole. Again, this won’t be easy. You’ve been walking in the same rut for quite some time. Getting out and finding the new path will require mental muscles you haven’t exercised in a while.

“Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called.”

1 Timothy 6:12

Related: Tell Yourself the Truth: Break Free From the Lies You Live

4) Let God Satisfy Your Deepest Desires

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Psalm 37:4

Don’t believe God could heal your hurts and fulfill your deepest longings? Maybe it’s because you haven’t given him an honest chance. See my post Desiring God As the Ultimate Source of Pleasure.

5) Stick with it!

The more convinced you are that God is the source of all pleasure, the harder you will seek him. The battle will grow easier with time. You won’t defeat sin merely through self-denial but through the power of a greater desire—one that recognizes that denying oneself in the short term will lead to a greater joy in the end. 

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.’”

Matthew 16:24-26

Resources for Teens Ready to Resist Temptation & Fight Sin

Dig deeper into your innate longing for God with Give Me More of God: Why Spiritual Intimacy Can Feel Elusive (article from Desiring God).

And if you’re struggling to identify the deeper issues in your own life, I highly recommend Telling Yourself the Truth, a self-help book by mental health specialists William Backus and Marie Chapian. You might also benefit from the Telling Myself the Truth Course offered by Apostolic Christian Counseling & Family Services.