The Battle Against Lust and How to Kill it

Lust is not strictly a male problem. I don’t believe it ever was, but more and more women have come forward with their struggles in the battle against lust and the topic is finally being addressed (albeit quietly) within Christian circles.

It’s about time. Lust is a powerful, intoxicating, murderous, marriage-wrecking, purity-destroying ruler—and everyone knows ignoring it will not make it go away.

To clarify, lust may look different for men and women. Guys are visually stimulated. They see a provocative image (i.e. a beautiful woman with a low-cut blouse) and their brains snap a picture and file it away for later recall. This mental catalog will frequently pop an image up at any given moment, tempting the poor fellow to indulge and seek out more.

Pornography is designed to exploit this feature in guys.

Women are aroused by feelings and emotions. The words we read invoke desires stronger than any image ever could.

Women, on the other hand, are aroused by feelings and emotions—which is why I sometimes call romance novels pornography for women. The words we read invoke desires stronger than any image ever could. It’s not just about sex. It’s about a craving for something you don’t have—namely, a sexy, brooding male who fulfills all your dreams and satisfies your desires. You don’t need pictures. Your brain creates them for you, and the more you read, the more you want.

That is lust.

And now that we’ve defined lust, let me sum up the rest of my thoughts for you in seven words:

You cannot conquer lust on your own. 

If you truly want to know how to fight lust, you first need to accept this hard fact. But don’t worry. In a moment, I’ll show you where you can find help in the battle against lust.

A Strategic Battle Plan

In his article ANTHEM: Strategies for Fighting Lust, John Piper from desiringGod.org lays out a strategic plan on how to fight lust, with each step represented by a letter in the word ANTHEM.

You cannot conquer lust on your own. 

Honestly, his approach is brilliant and if you’re reading my article and serious about conquering lust, you absolutely must jump over to see his as well. The first two letters—A: avoiding triggers, and N: saying “no” to lustful thoughts—are fairly common strategies that he explains quite well so I won’t elaborate on those.

The next four, however—T, H, E, M—were eye-openers for me and are the basis for what I share with you now and in part 2 of this post.

1) Fill the Space With Something Else

What happens when you squeeze the liquid out of one of those plastic Kool-Aid Bursts that you can find at almost any gas station? The bottle will momentarily collapse, then refill itself by sucking in air.

Your brain acts like a Kool-Aid Burst bottle. 

You can say no to lustful thoughts and force them out of your head, but that alone only creates an empty space that craves to be filled. Anyone struggling with lust knows that simply saying no isn’t enough. It will come back, with vengeance.

This is where the letter T in ANTHEM comes in: “Turn your mind forcefully to Christ as a superior satisfaction.”

The second you evict a lustful thought, immediately grab your Bible and start reading. Having verses memorized or written on sticky notes and posted in places you frequently look also helps. The key here is forcefully and immediately. Fighting lust means taking action in the heat of the moment when the battle is fiercest. Fill the catalog in your mind with the promises and love of God.

Take action in the heat of the moment, when the battle is fiercest.

Need some starting verses?

Here are a few Bible Verses to help you fight lust:

• But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
•  So then, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For in Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2, EHV
• “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

2) Fight To Kill

This is the point where most people fail in the battle against lust. You did the A (avoid), N (say no) and T (turn to Christ). And then you stopped. 

Picture yourself discovering a cave in your backyard. You climb down into the hole and poke around, studying the beautiful stalactites hanging like icicles from the ceiling and the crystals that have formed on the wall. Suddenly, a rattlesnake drops into the hole after you and plants itself in front of your only exit.

What should you do?

If you back away further into the cave, you might avoid the snake for a short time but eventually, it will find you. You can try kicking it away with your foot (not a great idea).

Ultimately, to be rid of its danger, you have to kill it.

Fight it off, scream for help, tell someone to throw down a garden shovel or a big stick so you can kill it! The H of ANTHEM is to hold on. Put Christ in the center of your vision and hold him there for as long as it takes. Don’t just push lust away for a while. Fight until you win. Scream for help and kill it like the deadly rattlesnake it is!

3) Scream For Help

 You might be saying to yourself I should be able to conquer this. What’s wrong with me? The answer is, you’re human. Nothing reveals the harsh reality of our weakness more than our inability to conquer sin without God’s help. Therefore, the first one to go for help is God. 

If you seek his help, you will find it.

For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Matthew 7:8

 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13

Nothing reveals the harsh reality of our weakness more than our inability to conquer sin without God’s help.

This is the time to pray without ceasing, pray until you find deliverance. He has promised it!

One thing I found helpful in my own battle against lust is to talk it through with God the way I might talk it over with a friend: What is it you find so alluring about this particular thing? What do you desire? Are you wishing for deeper relationships or meaning in your own life? Are you bored with your life? Does it cater to something you’ve always dreamed of? Is the thrill of the sin the most alluring part?

Talking it over with God often reveals deeper needs or tarnished parts in your heart. Once you discover them, you can bring them to him to fix and fulfill in a healthy way.

Going to another Christian for accountability is also a good idea. Talk to a trusted older member of your same gender, or share with close friends who are striving for the same standards of purity as you. You might be able to help each other out. See my post Resist Temptation: The Missing Link In 1 Corinthians 10:13.

More Bible Verses to Help You Fight Lust

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10

I put no trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but you give us victory over our enemies, you put our adversaries to shame.

Psalm 44:6-7

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 9:10

I will say it again: You cannot battle against lust on your own. To think that you should be able to do so is setting yourself up for failure, overwhelming guilt, and self-loathing. 

But don’t stop here! For a truly powerful, game-changing next step, go to part 2 of this post: Desiring God As the Ultimate Source of Pleasure.

Further Resources For Winning the Battle Against Lust

• Self-Control: Draw Your Weapon, Make the Enemy Flee!
• Fight When You Can’t Flee: A Battle Plan For Temptation
• Tired of the Same Old Sin? Keep Pulling the Weeds!
• 7 Common Lies That Christian Girls Believe About Sex
• Every Woman’s Silent Struggle: Fighting Lust with Sisters in Christ (article from DesiringGod)