Be Grateful, Not Entitled: How to Serve Without Expecting Thanks

Everyone loves hero stories. They’re the basis of all action movies on the market and most human-interest articles in the newspaper. A passerby pulls an unconscious victim from a burning car. An observant gas station attendant thwarts a bank robbery (true story). A high school basketball player lobs the winning shot from the half-court line with one second left on the scoreboard (another true story).

It’s fun to be the hero—to bask in the honor and praise, the admiration, the media, and the medals of honor.

But not everyone gets to be a hero. Many of us are warriors with no great story to tell—the stagehand or waterboy with the unglamorous job. And we expect applause for every little effort.

Does this sound like you? Do you serve without expecting thanks or do you get irritated when no one acknowledges your work?

The Exception Should Be the Standard

When we talk about selfless service, we tend to promote it as some high virtue that puts a person on the level with Mother Teresa. “What a generous, thoughtful teen you are!”

What’s promoted as exceptional behavior really should be the baseline.

And that’s the problem.

What’s promoted as exceptional behavior really should be the baseline. No one should have to thank you for doing your chores because that’s your job. No one should have to thank you for doing extra chores because it’s your duty as a Christian. You should serve without expecting thanks because that’s what we were created to do—to help each other navigate this crazy life until the day we step into eternity.

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

1 Galatians 5:13-15

That last line isn’t one kids regularly memorize in Sunday school, but maybe it should be. Today, we call that “what goes around comes around.” If I expect you to thank me for the things I do for you, then you’ll expect me to repay you for the things you do and it ends up being a competition instead of a cooperation.

And for what? Fifteen minutes of overinflated ego?

My young friend, you and I are both capable of much higher standards than that.

Are You Entitled or Grateful?

You might be entitled if…

1. You expect to receive praise for doing things you are supposed to do anyway, like washing the dishes, completing a homework assignment, or balancing the ledger at work.
2. You prefer the spotlight where there’s more attention over quiet behind-the-scenes work.
3. You demand that your needs and opinions always be heard and acknowledged.
4. You hate seeing others succeed.
5. You’re tempted to cheat or lie when you know no one will catch you.
6. You only do someone a favor with the expectation he or she will pay you back.

How To Serve Without Expecting Thanks

Let’s get to the practical side of selfless service. How do you embrace serving others as a way of life rather than an occasion?

• Serve out of a sense of duty, not because you want a medal of honor for your efforts. This applies to anything, from volunteer work to homework to chores at home to the tasks you’ve been assigned on the job.
• Don’t turn your nose up at menial tasks. If your job is to take the garbage out or run the soundboard for the play, do it wholeheartedly and do it well without expecting a pat on the back. 
• Keep your focus on the whole pie and not just one slice. That might sound like gluttony, but I’m not talking about food. You should not expect your needs and opinions to trump those of the whole group. Act on what is best for your whole family, your whole class, or your whole country. 
• Celebrate the successes of others, even the ones who might have beaten you out of a competition. Sore losers remain losers forever.
• Be honest, even when no one is watching. It’s been said the real measure of a man (or woman) is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out. 
• Give of yourself to those you know cannot pay you back. Time, talents, money—whatever you have—use those things to benefit others without expecting them to write an IOU.
• Take your example from Jesus. He died for you, and you don’t have a thing that you can offer as payment. 
• Remember: God is the one who holds great rewards in his hands, and he sees everything. 

Be grateful, not entitled. Serve without expecting thanks out of the abundance of love Christ has given you.

7 Impactful Ways Christian Teens Can Serve Within the Church

1. Volunteer to help with Sunday school and/or summer Bible camp.
2. Become a penpal with elderly folks who are no longer able to attend services. Don’t overlook the touching quality of Valentine’s cards or even baked goods for a lonely widower.
3. Assist with worship services. Sing in the choir, play in the band, or play the organ. (Totally a cool instrument—not even joking. But you kind of have to have some solid piano skills). Not a musician? Volunteer as a greeter, an usher, or learn how to run the audio/visual equipment. Churches never have enough backup people to work the technology.
4. Bake for fellowship meals. Are you good at making pies or chili? Bring some to the next fellowship event. If cooking isn’t your thing, there’s always a need for setup, serving, and cleanup personnel.
5. Offer your services in grounds maintenance. It’s a thankless job (sort of the point of the post) but churches need upkeep too. Wash toilets, vacuum the sanctuary, or cut the grass. Holiday decorating counts.
6. Lend a hand to parents with young children. Especially single parents. If you’re comfortable with kids, you just might be the person who gets Junior to look at his book quietly so Mom can pay attention to the service.
7. Start a youth group. You’ve always envied your friends’ youth groups, so why not be the catalyst behind starting one at your own church?

More ideas about serving in the church in When Church Doesn’t Feel Exciting.

7 Simple Ways Christian Teens Can Serve At Home

1. Pick up extra chores.
2. Help a sibling with homework.
3. Make meals regularly.
4. Offer to do the grocery shopping.
5. Babysit or offer to drive your younger siblings to sports practice for no pay.
6. Wash the car. (Bonus if you learn how to do regular maintenance items like changing the oil.)
7. Lead family Bible studies and devotions.

Ways Christian Teens Can Serve Within the Community

Need some ideas here? Check out 50 Community Service Ideas For Teen Volunteers.