November 10, 2021. Does that date ring a bell for you? Unless you’re a major YouTube influencer, probably not, because that’s the day YouTube removed its dislike button—the little thumbs-down icon—from all videos. (It has since been reinstated but the number of dislikes is no longer visible to viewers.)
In today’s technological culture, it’s hard to find someone who doesn’t spend a significant amount of time on social media. In the case of the global pandemic of 2020, social media was a lifeline in a sea of loneliness. But that lifeline has attracted a monster from the depths—the monster unaffectionately known as the Critical Spirit.
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In This Article
The Critical Spirit: A Sneaky Monster
In developing a character for one of my novels, I spent a lot of time watching YouTube videos of violin players (before the removal of the dislike button), including then-11-year-old violinist Karolina Protsenko who performs covers of popular music. To say she has talent and charm in music is an understatement. The 500 million plus views her channel has received speaks for itself. But while watching a video of her performing for a street crowd, I happened to notice she received upwards of twelve thousand dislikes.
And then it hit me: There are over 12,000 people who would tell an 11-year-old girl they hate her music.
Talk about a widespread infection of critical attitudes.
How many of those people actually knew how to play the violin? How many had ever performed in front of a street crowd before? How many could play the violin and dance at the same time? And how many of them had created even one video of doing all of the above and posted it for the world to see, much less 198 videos?
This is social media criticism at its lowest.
Criticism is Meant to Destroy
It’s an unfortunate fact of our modern times that certain elements of social networking have made it very easy to display a negative attitude toward others and their accomplishments and not be held accountable for it. You can dislike a video and move on without ever seeing the effect it has on its creator. You can post a snide remark on a friend’s Instagram post without the spine it takes to say it to her face.
I think it’s safe to say Karolina isn’t too affected by those 12,000 naysayers because she just keeps going and gaining. But think about those 12,000 for a minute. Are you one of them? Are you struggling to overcome a critical attitude? Do you find yourself clicking the thumbs-down icon on other people’s hard work? Do you leave negative book reviews or judgmental comments on someone else’s Facebook feed?
Do you find yourself clicking the thumbs-down icon on other people’s accomplishments?
Do you go so far as to say it to their face?
Being critical of others is not strictly a virtual problem. Those who struggle with a negative attitude are constantly picking apart other people’s skills, appearances, and accomplishments as a way to either build themselves up or get a rise out of the people around them. They throw out opinions and judgments with little regard for the people they’re aimed at.
If that sounds like you, keep reading.
Living With a Critical Spirit: Judge, And Be Judged
What if you got to the gates of heaven and God greeted you with his thumb down?
Consider the woman in the book of John who was caught in the act of adultery. A crowd had gathered but back in those times, they didn’t give thumbs-down symbols. They threw stones, and each stone was meant to destroy. And they were ready to destroy her. But Jesus stopped them.
“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”
Jesus, the only perfect individual standing there that day—the only one who had the right to throw a stone—chose to edify her. To let her go and give her a second chance.
This is not a call to let someone keep on living a sinful life. The issue here is your negative attitude toward others. Jesus is warning you:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Matthew 7:1-2
“In the same way you judge others” means if you are harsh and critical of others, then God will be harsh and critical of you, and you won’t have any grounds for a defense.
How to Overcome a Critical Attitude: Build, And Be Built Up
1) Stop Looking For Specks in Others’ Eyes
You’re not perfect. In fact, you have a plank sticking out of your eye. No, really.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”
Matthew 7:3
Jesus isn’t talking about a medical issue here. He’s saying you have your own set of faults to deal with, and recognizing that is the first step in overcoming a critical attitude. It doesn’t mean your “plank” is a bigger flaw than your brother’s “speck.” It just means you need to focus on overcoming your own shortcomings first.
2) Remember: You Needed a Savior Too
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
This isn’t just about treating people nicer. It’s about treating people way better than they deserve—because that’s how Jesus treated you. Rather than being critical of others, focus on gratitude for what he did for you. (Not sure of what he did? Read Jesus Saved You From Sin, Death, Hell—And God.)
3) Replace Criticism With Grace
Love isn’t always about getting close and cuddly. Follow the Model in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
This is your #1 set of guidelines for how you should treat others, not just close family and friends. We are called to love each other. Memorize those verses. Pray about them. Live them.
4) Reflect: Is Your Criticism Necessary?
Back to our little violinist: Does anybody need or even care about your opinion? If you don’t play the violin, dance, and make YouTube videos, what business do you have leaving a negative comment? If you don’t like what you see or hear, there’s a simpler solution: Leave and never come back!
But what if you’re Lindsey Stirling and can dance and make a slick violin video? Does that give you license to criticize someone like Karolina? Consider how often we insert our opinions into a situation where they’re neither wanted nor needed. Unless you’re specifically asked to critique someone else’s work (think of those peer reviews in Creative Writing), you should refrain from commenting.
And when your opinion is called upon, give it with gentleness and encouragement. (Believe me, as a writer, I know all about the need for kind words when feedback is negative.)
“As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
Colossians 3:12
Related: Opinion Vs. Fact: See What Happens When They Mix
5) Open Your Eyes to Eternity
When I consider your heavens,
Psalm 8:3-4
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
human beings that you care for them?
Often, a super-critical spirit stems from having a too-narrow view of life. You’re focused on yourself and this tiny little situation that bears little effect on eternity. Zoom out, take in the world around you, the sky, the trees, the beauty of God’s creation. Notice the people he’s blessed your life with. Be amazed by what he’s given you.
Then consider where you’re going—heaven.
Related: Look Forward to Eternity: The Best is Yet to Come
6) Praise Him!
The surest way to overcome a critical attitude? Praise God.
Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens.
Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness.
Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre.Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord.
Psalm 150 (condensed)
No one whose heart is filled with praise can in the next moment criticize her sister or friend. Focus on God and you’ll find you have nothing left to be critical about!
Related: 20 Awesome Things Christian Teens Can Take Pride In
Is There Ever a Time To Judge Others?
Yes, there is. I talk about it in Is It Ever Okay to Be Judgmental? But note that judging someone requires you to set aside your opinions and base your conclusions on fact—Biblical fact. Criticizing an author’s book on Goodreads because you didn’t like his writing style is an opinion. Calling out a friend for stealing a tube of lipstick from the cosmetic counter, however, helps her see how she fails to measure up to Biblical standards. (And hopefully prevent her from landing in jail.)
Be An Encourager, Not a Criticizer
Don’t click that thumbs-down icon. Don’t leave a negative book review. Don’t throw your opinion around. If you have insecurities, take them to God and let him lift you up so you are free to lift others. A Christian need never pull others down to realize his or her worth.
May the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus!
For Further Reflection
You don’t have to have all the answers.
But, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
- The whole story of the adulterous woman can be found in John 8:1-11.
- Check out my articles about using edifying speech: Taming the Tongue: The Tremendous Power of the Mouth and Control Your Speech: Five Firm Rules for the Christian Tongue
- I also highly recommend checking out an article by Heather Margiotta that talks about being critical of others in the general sense: Four types of a critical and judgmental spirit.
