In my last post, I laid out 7 Common Lies About Sex that Christian Girls Believe. If you made it all the way to the end, you were met by a cliffhanger. That’s because lie #7—“It’s already too late for me”—comprises one of Satan’s greatest traps for Christians.
Today’s post isn’t just for the single Christian teen or young adult who’s drowning in guilt over lost virginity. It’s for anyone struggling with the guilt and shame of past sin.
Hi, I’m Lauren Thell, author of Christian YA fiction and blogger for teens who are ready to exceed the world’s expectations.
In This Article
Guilt Over Lost Virginity: You Have a Choice
Perhaps you weren’t a Christian when you started dating. Or you were, knew sex was supposed to be for marriage, but things went a little too far one night. Maybe you didn’t see the point so you gave it away deliberately. Maybe you weren’t given the choice; maybe someone took it from you by force.
Regardless of the circumstances, you now have a choice to make. You can either:
- Stay where you are.
- Move backward.
- Move forward.
Staying where you are means hiding your face from Jesus and wallowing in your guilt and shame. You’ll carry the burden of your sin for the rest of your life and you’ll always view your worth based on what you’ve done.
Moving backward means moving away from God. You’ll believe those who pad your conscience by saying sex outside marriage really isn’t wrong if it helped you “get to know yourself”. Suddenly, everything the Bible commands will come into question, and as you travel this crowded highway, you’ll find yourself drifting further from God—and redemption.
Moving forward means kneeling before God in full repentance, confessing your sin, then letting him wrap you in his full forgiveness and lift the burden of your guilt and shame.
I hope you’ll choose Option #3 because this is the only route that leads to freedom.
Struggling With Guilt And Shame: One Lie to the Next
Whatever sin you face, I hope you recognize that Satan has deceived you with not one but two lies.
Whatever sin you face, whether sexual or something equally condemning in your mind, I hope you recognize that Satan has deceived you with not one but two lies. First, he deceived you into believing this sin wasn’t a big deal. Then, the moment you succumbed, he turned around and bombarded you with the lie of shame and defeat.
“You’re not good enough. It’s too late for you. You’ve lost your chance at purity and redemption.”
No wonder so many Christians believe lost virginity, lost purity, and lost innocence are unforgivable. You’ve already messed up, so might as well continue down that path, right?
Jesus doesn’t agree.
Purity Is a Life Devoted to Jesus
“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”
Isaiah 1:18
When your favorite shirt gets a stain on it, do you just throw it out? Of course not! You march over to Wal-Mart, scour the laundry detergent aisle for the best stain remover you can find, and you scrub that bugger till it’s clean.
When a person gets a stain on her soul, God doesn’t just throw her out either. And his stain remover is much more powerful than anything you can buy at Wal-Mart. In fact, God specializes in removing stains. We call that redemption.
God specializes in removing stains. We call that redemption.
According to Merriam-Webster, to “redeem” something is to buy it back; to free it from what harms it; to repair and restore. If you’ve been redeemed, you’ve been restored to your original purpose, which is to love God with all your heart.
No matter what detours you may have taken, if you’re still alive, it’s not too late to turn back to Jesus and devote your life to him. Nothing you do can make him love you more or less. (See my post How do I know if I am acceptable to God?)
Related: The Right Reason For Purity: It’s Not What You Think
True Freedom is Found in Repentance
The worst mistake you could make at this point is to let your sin come between you and God. This happens both when you cling to the shame and when you brush off the sin as no big deal. The internet is rife with stories of people who lost their faith over their own sin. Rather than blaming their sinful nature, they blame the “oppression” of religion for pointing out their imperfections.
The worst mistake you could make at this point is to let your sin come between you and God.
Walking away from faith might seem like freedom, but take a moment to envision where you’ll end up—a life burdened with bitterness and resentment. You haven’t truly set aside the weight of guilt, rather, you’ve transferred the blame to something else and will continue pointing your finger away from yourself.
That’s not true freedom.
Heed the invitation to lay your guilt at the foot of the cross! Because of Jesus, you can approach the throne of God with confidence. Let him transform you.
Bible Verses About Redemption and Purity
You don’t have to take my word for it. See for yourself what God says.
- John 8:34-36: Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
- Romans 3:22-24: This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
- Hebrews 4:16: Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
- Psalm 103: This whole psalm is a salve for the hurting soul, but verses 11-12 are especially soothing: For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
- Psalm 51: This is a great prayer when you feel guilty. Check it out in your own Bible!
You don’t have to have all the answers.
but, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
Your Time of Grace Isn’t Over
Now is your chance to make Jesus the center of your life and let go of that which holds you back. Don’t let this opportunity pass you by.
Please check out this touching account of one young woman’s fall into sin and her road back: I Lost My Virginity But Not My Faith.