Talking about Jesus shouldn’t be that hard. If you’re a football enthusiast, you likely have no problem engaging with your friends about the latest game scores or debating whether Dak Prescott is really worth that much money. Environmental enthusiasts have no trouble arguing their views over clean energy policies and climate change. I know a guy who shamelessly loves the Beatles and could talk for hours about their music, whether you agree with him or not.
But Jesus enthusiasts? We duck our heads and avoid eye contact anytime an opening in the conversation invites discussion about faith, God, or the Bible. And there’s no way anyone wants to be the one who brings it up first!
It’s time to change that attitude because talking about the one who bought you eternity should be invigorating, not terrifying. It’s also not complicated. In fact, by the end of this post, you should know how to talk about Jesus with almost anyone, no seminary training necessary. Because personal evangelism is more about the heart than formal training.
Hi, I’m Lauren Thell, author of Christian YA fiction and blogger for teens who are ready to exceed the world’s expectations.
In This Article
Personal Evangelism: Where We Get It Wrong
1) Pinpointing the Wrong Enemy
Most aversion to talking about Jesus with skeptics and nonbelievers is because we view such a conversation as a chess game—a series of moves and countermoves. A classmate says something offensive about the Bible, you counter with a statement that likely offends him, he has to beat your argument with something even stronger, you move your pieces to guard your queen, and so on.
This isn’t a battle between two people with opposing viewpoints but a battle between truth and untruth.
This is not only an incorrect view of personal evangelism, but a dangerous one because it pits teammates against each other. Remember who the enemy truly is. This isn’t a battle between two people with opposing viewpoints but a battle between truth and untruth. Therefore, you are not rivals but teammates. You’re both seeking the truth, and it’s a matter of life and death for you both.
The first step toward talking to others about Jesus is to stop drawing battle lines between each other and instead draw a circle that includes you both.
2) Focusing on the Wrong Stakes
“How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?”
Romans 10:14
The next problem most Christians have when it comes to talking about Jesus is they make it all about themselves. You don’t want to look bad, right? So suddenly it becomes important that you “win.” An opportunity to turn someone toward truth becomes a battle of wits. You take their jabs personally and start attacking out of embarrassment or anger. Not only have you failed to bring someone to the truth but now you’ve alienated them, terminating all further opportunities to return to the conversation later.
Don’t tell me this has never happened to you. I’ve done it too, spoken stupidly because I took the attack on my faith personally. But that’s the thing:
It’s not about you. As determined above, this isn’t about two humans duking it out over differing beliefs but a battle between Satan and Jesus. When someone mocks the Bible and your beliefs, it may sound like a personal attack, but they’re really Satan’s mouthpiece mocking God. This is not your battle to fight. God can defend himself. Your job is to use love to help someone shake free of Satan’s grasp and find the salvation found only in Jesus. Their soul depends on it.
Jesus Talk Tip: Effectively sharing the gospel of Jesus begins inside your heart. You don’t share it because you want to win battles and make everyone see your point of view. You share it because you care about someone so much you want him or her to know the saving truth too.
How to Talk About Jesus: Mandatory Prep Work
1) Actions Speak Before Words
The first step in talking about Jesus is actually not talking about him but living in him. Your life and actions speak volumes. If you want someone to listen to what you have to say, you must become someone they respect. Your language choices, your conduct, how you choose to spend your time—all these should reflect what you believe so when you finally have that conversation, the person you’re talking to isn’t surprised.
“Say, what?! You’re a Christian? I had no idea!”
If that’s the first thing that comes out of their mouth, you’d better step back and reexamine your life. Show your faith in how you live. Learn more in Let Your Life Be a Glimpse of God’s Glory and The Holy Teenage Life: Real Faith, Real Happiness.
2) The Bible is Your Study Guide, Cheat Sheet, and Script
Skeptics and nonbelievers can smell a phony right off. They know when you have no idea what you’re talking about, which will certainly be true if you’re not a regular student of the Bible. So study! Make Bible reading a daily habit and church attendance a regular part of your weekly schedule. The Bible has all the answers you need. You don’t have to look like a fool on purpose.
See How to Handle the Toughest Questions About God for more on preparing for evangelism and apologetics.
3) Relationships Are the Foundation For Success
Before you can know how to talk about Jesus with almost anyone, you need to know how to establish a relationship with almost anyone.
Before you can know how to talk about Jesus with almost anyone, you need to know how to establish a relationship with almost anyone. You don’t have to be on the level of share-my-most-intimate-secrets friendship. But you can’t just walk up to someone you’ve ignored in the school hallway for three years and start preaching about Jesus. (Unless they approach you first, which likely means they’ve been watching you and you’re rocking the whole living-your-faith thing. Woohoo!)
A personal connection is critical to paving the way for conversations about Jesus. Become someone others respect and find approachable. Greet them when you see them. Get to know them on some level. Maybe even become friends.
It’s not about you. It’s about amending the soil, which I speak more about in Speak the Truth in Love: A How-To From the Garden.
Jesus Talk Tip: Become someone others want to hear from and be prepared with the necessary knowledge for when the topic finally comes up.
The Nuts & Bolts of Talking About Jesus
1) Keep Your Eyes Open For Opportunities
Just because someone needs to hear about Jesus doesn’t mean it needs to happen RIGHT THIS INSTANT.
“But what if they’re struck by a car and killed after school and they never gave their heart to Jesus?!”
Relax. That concern belongs to God. Your job is to keep your eyes open for opportunities to start the conversation. What are they going through that might make them more open to hearing about Jesus? What do they need to hear? Has it ever come up in conversation? Watch for those moments. Don’t put it off forever, but don’t do damage by forcing it at the wrong time.
Not sure if it’s the right time? Pray about it, then test the waters with the next step.
2) Ask Questions
Questions are amazing conversation starters, especially when it comes to talking about Jesus. But think beyond the typical “Do you know where you’re going when you die?” The purpose of questions in personal evangelism is not just to start the conversation, but to aim the conversation where it needs to go. If you think evangelism means coming in with a prepared script, you’re going about it the wrong way and it’s no wonder you hate doing it.
Questions can help you gauge the faith climate of the person you’re speaking to. Some possible starters:
- What have you heard?
- What do you believe about this?
- What is your experience with this issue?
Watch your tone of voice. Don’t put someone on the defensive by sounding uppity or accusing. Ask genuine questions, then listen in earnest to the answers because the answers will guide you to what the person needs to hear. Learn more in Do You Know How to Listen So Others Will Talk?
Never, under any circumstances, laugh at someone for what they don’t know. So what if they’ve never heard of Cain and Abel or were told the story of Noah’s Ark is a parable? You’ll get nowhere by humiliating them for their ignorance. These are opportunities for enlightenment.
Related: Defend Your Faith: Win the Battle, Lose the War?
3) Speak to Their Answers
This is where you show that you were actually listening to their responses. If a friend just revealed he lost his faith after losing his brother in a tragic accident, and then you launch into your personal testimony, he’s as likely to tune you out as you just did to him. Instead of coming in with predetermined bullet points and a list of topics you think he needs to hear, let the other person steer the conversation in the direction it needs to go. Speak to him, not over him.
4) Go Back to the Bible in All Things
There are a lot of great resources for apologetics and evangelism, but none trump the Bible in authority. Every successful conversation about Jesus parallels God’s word the whole way, meaning every response you give is lined with biblical truth. It doesn’t mean shooting scripture verses at her like spitballs. But she should see that the Bible is where the answers lie.
Truth is truth, even if the lie sounds good.
Remember: Truth is truth, even if the lie sounds good. Don’t be flustered by eloquent arguments. Some scientists can make a very convincing argument against intelligent design, whereas some Christians are terrible at arguing in favor of the Bible. But that does not make the former more truthful than the latter.
Don’t let eloquence shake your faith or your argument. Go back to the Bible and be regrounded in the truth.
Jesus Talk Tip: You do not have to be in control of the conversation. Ask questions, listen to the answers, then speak to the answers with biblical knowledge—and be ready for more questions!
Encountering Problems in the Field
What if I Don’t Know The Answer?
Welcome to humanity! The only one who knows all the answers all the time is God. Take a deep breath and remind yourself: It’s not about you. (The repetition is on purpose.) Some skeptics might take great pleasure in cornering a Christian but just because you don’t have the answer doesn’t mean the answer does not exist.
Be brave and admit when you don’t know something, then offer to help your friend or acquaintance find the answer. You’ll earn greater respect this way than if you fumble your way through a rickety response.
What if They Just Want to Argue?
Some people are so full of hurt and anger they just want to vindicate themselves by running someone else into the ground. If you’ve encountered such a person, tell them, “I’d be happy to answer your questions when you truly want the answers.” Then walk away. The soil isn’t ready for the seed yet.
But some people just need a listening ear. What might sound like opposition could really be a cry for help. In this case, go back to asking questions and listening carefully to the answers.
What If I Screw Up?
See the next section of this post.
Jesus Talk Tip: You might mess up, but it’s not permanent. Authenticity and genuine compassion are more important than the ability to give quick, bulletproof answers.
Seriously, It’s Not About You
It’s up to the Holy Spirit, not you, to make someone believe.
This is not your battle to fight or win. God may use you because you’re in the right place at the right time, but it’s his battle. So relax. It’s up to the Holy Spirit, not you, to make someone believe. Pray for words, wisdom, and saving faith for the people you’re sharing the gospel with, and be the best representative you can be for Jesus. But don’t assume the responsibility of commander. Who wants that kind of stress anyway?
“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!'”
Isaiah 6:8
Does that make talking about Jesus a little less terrifying? You can do it! Be courageous. The Holy Spirit is with you wherever you go.
How to Share the Gospel: More Resources
You don’t have to have all the answers.
but, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
- Let’s Get Uncomfortable: Mental Toughness for Christian Teens
- When You’re Too Embarrassed to Invite Friends to Church
- Why Is Evangelism Important? Share The Hope of Eternity
- 7 Ways to Let Your Light Shine In a Dark World
