My last post Taming the Tongue: Why It’s So Important For Christian Teens was about the importance of why you need to control your speech. God called us to be his witnesses, and sometimes our very words are the things that send others in the opposite direction.
As promised, this post will tell you how to control your speech with five very specific rules. I will warn you right now, however: These aren’t suggestions. They are firm rules for every Christian—and they can be hard to follow.
Hi, I’m Lauren Thell, author of Christian YA fiction and blogger for teens who are ready to exceed the world’s expectations.
In This Article
HOW TO CONTROL YOUR SPEECH
Rule #1: Drop the profanity.
Swearing sends the message that you don’t value your faith or your God as much as you say you do.
That means all of it, in every circumstance. You probably hear profanity every day, even if you attend a Christian school, and it’s an easy habit to pick up and dismiss as trivial.
But it’s not trivial.
Swear words reveal the filth in our hearts. Swearing is an especially big deal for you as a Christian because it sends everyone else the message that you don’t value your faith or your God as much as you say you do, and they will remember you for it.
Like the person with perpetually bad breath. Ick.
Rule #2: Be careful how you portray yourself and your faith.
If your friends describe you as blunt, opinionated, outspoken, or frank (unless your name really is Frank), they’re actually saying you’re harsh, insensitive, and judgemental—the very things that drive nonbelievers further from Christianity.
You are a representative of Jesus. When Jesus was frank with someone, as he often was, it was because he could read into that person’s heart and know what he or she needed to hear. You are not quite so omniscient and, therefore, must control your tongue and tread carefully when speaking to, and about, others.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. . . . Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another…”
Ephesians 4:29, 31
Rule #3: Do not fall into the gossip pit.
Gossip is defined as “casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.” That casual part gets us all the time. You’re standing in the hallway waiting for the first bell to ring with nothing better to do, so you start casually talking about other people.
“Did you hear what Maya did last weekend?”
“Have you heard that Justin and Sidney broke up?”
“Don’t tell anyone, but I think Anna’s boyfriend might be involved in that plagiarism scandal.”
If you’re going to talk about other people, make sure it has a purpose that benefits that person and your listener. Beware of talking about others under the pretext of “Christian concern.” When you’re setting a plan in place to help another, that’s love. But when you are talking about that purpose for the sole purpose of analyzing his or her actions or ideas, that’s gossip.
The best way to control your tongue in regards to gossip is to not do it at all!
Rule #4: Be not vulgar.
In my yard, two pipes stick out of the ground. One is brown and ugly, the other new and white. If you open the top of the ugly brown one and peer inside, you will not see or smell anything noteworthy. But a handy pump somewhere along the line moves the contents of that pipe into my house, allowing me to turn on my faucet and pour myself a refreshing glass of cool, clean, hydrating water.
What flows from the fountain of your heart: water for parched ground, or black, stinky sewage?
However, if you open the top of the pretty, new white pipe, the stench will knock your socks off and make your toenails curl. You won’t even want to see what’s inside, much less pump the contents of that pipe back into your house. Nothing but sewage and filth, and your only warning that it’s there is the ghastly smell.
Which pipe are you? What flows from the fountain of your heart: water for parched ground, or black, stinky sewage? Do you use humor and wit to uplift others, or to tell dirty jokes about blonde women and one-night stands?
Taming the tongue means dropping all vulgarity now.
Rule #5: Apply all of the above to social media.
You wouldn’t believe (or maybe you would) what people will say on Facebook or Twitter that they’d never say to someone in person.
Social media has given us another way to connect with others—and another way to let our wild tongues flap freely in the wind, via our keypads. More than one person has lost respect for a “nice” acquaintance after seeing her rants on Twitter.
If you shouldn’t say it out loud to a real person, don’t even think of typing it into your social media feed!
Control Your Tongue, Breathe Life Into the World
You don’t have to have all the answers.
but, hey, why not?
Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
-Psalm 19:14
Your speech matters! Examine your hearts, talk to your God, control your speech, and let your mouth be a fountain of life!
Read one young man’s personal story about taming his tongue at Fervr.net: Swearing, Cursing and Using Your Voice for God.