Let’s Get Uncomfortable: Mental Toughness for Christian Teens

When I hear the phrase “mental toughness,” I envision a soldier trained to encounter the worst of mankind in the worst of conditions. The U.S. Navy SEALs are known for this. Typically called upon to take out high-value targets or gather intelligence behind enemy lines, SEALs operate in maritime, jungle, urban, arctic, mountainous, desert—pretty much any environment. They’re trained to act with precision under any kind of pressure, be it lack of sleep, scorching heat, or ongoing enemy fire.

These guys are tough. Physically, yes, but mentally most of all.

How would you like to be the Navy SEAL of Christians?

Fortunately for most of us, such a role doesn’t require any specific level of physical fitness. But mental strength, on the other hand, can make the difference between faith that crumbles at the first grip of pain and faith that burns hot regardless of your circumstances.

That’s the focus of this series on mental toughness for Christian teens.

Mental Toughness for Christian Teens: What is it?

Oxford Reference defines mental toughness as:

“a quality of mind or intellect characterized by, among other things, a refusal to be intimidated, a determination to finish a contest even when things are going badly, and an ability to control emotions and remain highly focused when under the pressure of intense competition.”

You’ve seen it in action. The best athletes are those who trained their minds to focus on the sport. The best performing artists are the ones who don’t let stage fright run them off stage. (And believe me, that takes some serious mental toughness—see my post Tame Your Nerves: How to Overcome Performance Anxiety if you struggle with this).

So too, the strongest Christians are those who aren’t knocked over by the slightest breeze or biggest gale life blows at them.

But it doesn’t happen magically, simply because you’re a Christian. You have to train yourself, and that begins with uprooting the lies that undo mental toughness for Christian teens.

Lie #1: “I can’t stand to be uncomfortable.”

Most of us are surrounded by comforts 100% of the time. If we’re cold, we turn up the thermostat. If we’re hungry, we open the fridge, help ourselves—and overindulge. We’ve been conditioned to crave comfort. This isn’t a terrible thing, as desiring comfort aids in our survival.

But we live in such luxury that most of the time survival isn’t an issue.

It’s time to stop seeing discomfort as a bad thing. If I fear discomfort, then I will never step out and share my faith with someone who doesn’t believe. If I fear discomfort, I won’t speak up when I see something wrong happening in the world.

And if I fear discomfort, I start to doubt God is watching over me at all whenever anything threatens my comfortable lifestyle.

Faith lags when comfort is our main goal.

Lie #2: “It is terrible to stand out.”

Fear of standing out is a big issue for anyone between the ages of roughly 13 and 19. But even as we age, the fear of standing out never goes away completely. We want to be accepted among our peers, right? That’s just natural.

But if you’re a Christian, you’re going to stand out. In fact, you’re supposed to stand out.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Matthew 5:14-16

Christians dress differently, talk differently, engage in different activities, believe different things. If you’re not standing out in the crowd, you’re not doing your job. God created you to stand out.

Which takes us back to myth number one: “I can’t stand to be uncomfortable.” Because standing out makes us uncomfortable.

Beat the Lies: What Does Jesus Say About Discomfort?

Jesus understood the mentality of Navy SEALs quite well.

“Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness… Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me…. Great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Matthew 5:10-12

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”

Matthew 16:24

Clearly, he wants us to move out of our comfort zone. If this terrifies you, then repeat after me:

“I can handle being uncomfortable. I can handle being uncomfortable. I can handle being uncomfortable…” 

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Ready to move beyond the rigid boundaries of your comfort zone? Take out your journal—if you don’t have one, start one—and write down all the things that make you uncomfortable. Especially the ones that are good for you.

Now pick one and go do it. Then do it again, and again, and again.

Keep doing it until you’re no longer uncomfortable, or the discomfort no longer bothers you. Let yourself experience hunger, or cold, or dampness once in a while. Step out and have those scary conversations. God is still God, even when you’re uncomfortable. And the more often you get uncomfortable, the sooner you’ll develop a more productive can-do attitude whenever you encounter stressful situations.

Is it Really So Awful to Stand Out?

Close your eyes for a minute and imagine this scenario: You and a bunch of classmates are standing outside the movie theater. Some are your friends, but most are mere acquaintances—friends of friends you don’t know well. You all came with plans for watching a movie together, but everyone wants to watch a racy R-rated movie you know you shouldn’t see.

Would you be comfortable speaking up and saying no?

Close your eyes again and visualize yourself standing your ground, refusing the movie. Imagine the comments, the jeers, the “holier than thou” name-calling. Feel what you think you’ll feel when that comes, and let yourself sit with that discomfort for a moment.

Did you survive? Did life go on, even though it was uncomfortable?

Now visualize yourself moving forward, walking away from the theater and sticking to your convictions while the others go inside. Imagine yourself doing it in confidence. Feel what it’s like to stand up and do what’s right. Feel the freedom of standing out and not letting the crowd think for you.

Take it further. Imagine another Christian in the same situation somewhere else, doing the same thing. And another, and another, until hundreds of you, who maybe don’t even know each other, are all facing your discomfort and standing out where it matters.

Suddenly, you’re not alone.

You Are Never Alone

You don’t have to have all the answers.

But, hey, why not?

Bring me your questions about faith, life, God, the Bible… and I’ll help you find the answers.

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When it comes down to it, standing out really isn’t as awful as you think. You may feel like you’re alone, but you’re not. Even Elijah felt alone, and he said so to God (1 Kings 19:10). All around the world, Christians are standing out.

Even Jesus stood out, and thank God for that!

Train to be a mentally tough Christian. Visualize yourself in an uncomfortable situation, then go out and do it. Seek ways to move beyond your comfort zone, to break through your fear of standing out, and feel what it’s like to be free.

It’s amazing.

Mental Toughness for Christian Teens: One More Lie

The next post in my Mental Toughness For Christian Teens series addresses one more faith-eroding lie: “Something awful is happening. God must not be real.” Overcome it in Indestructible Faith: Toughen Up When the Waters Rise.