Christian Girls and Fashion: Why is Modesty Important?

Christian girls are constantly bombarded with messages preaching the importance of modesty—with the inability of males to control their thoughts cited as the number one reason why.

“Girls in leggings and crop tops will ruin the integrity of the entire male population! “

That’s a bit of a stretch—and a serious insult to guys. Are we ladies so haughty as to think we have a monopoly on self-control? You are not wholly responsible for the thoughts and actions of the males around you and, anyway, connecting rules of modesty to male integrity sort of misses the bigger point.

Does that mean we never have to consider how our clothing choices affect the people around us? Why is modesty important for Christian girls and women?

Downplaying Who You Are

When you walk into a hospital and spot a guy in blue scrubs with a stethoscope around his neck, you can be reasonably certain he’s not the janitor. And the woman in the waiting room with a silver badge and a holstered gun isn’t a fireman.

We identify people by what they wear, whether it’s a jersey with big bold numbers on it or a pair of treble clef earrings. A lot can be said about a person just by looking at her everyday clothing choices. Is she a student? An athlete? An artist? A tap dancer?

Who are you?

Answer: You are the daughter of a king—not just any king, but the King.

You were bought at a high cost and cherished more than diamonds. Your worth is in how much Jesus loves you, not in whether you have perfectly proportioned curves or orthodontically pristine teeth. The way you dress yourself should convey your value as a beloved child of God.

Can people tell that by looking at you? Do they see your confidence, your kindness? Your humility and love? Or are they too distracted by the cleavage bursting out of your blouse and the miles of legs stretching from beneath your barely-there mini?

You are more than a body, and you have a lot to offer the world. It doesn’t matter that you’re young and female. You know the answers to life and eternity.

But no one will ever know it if you force their focus to your body.

Why is Modesty Important? Make the World See Who You Are

As the mother of boys, I’ve had numerous conversations about treating girls with respect and not viewing them as playthings, and I’ll have many more before my sons are grown. I’ve put a lot of time into sculpting a healthy view of gender and Christian love within male-female relationships.

So it kills me every time I walk out of the house and see girls—Christian or not—demonstrating through their clothing choices the exact opposite.

I tell my sons not to judge girls by their body type, and then a girl walks by wearing the kind of jeans that proclaim body type is all that matters. I explain that females are very nurturing and caring, then find that girls only appear to care about drawing eyes. I’m teaching a group of budding Christian men that women are not objects of pleasure . . . in a world where women constantly portray themselves as objects of pleasure.

Dear Christian Girl, you were made for so much more than that!

Love One Another

I disagree with anyone who says a girl shouldn’t consider males at all when she determines her dress code. As Christians, nothing we do is ever done for ourselves. If we want males to stop viewing us as objects of lust, we need to stop sending mixed messages. You have the power to make people see you the way you want to be seen.

But modesty isn’t just about helping males develop and maintain a healthy view of women. Your fellow females could use a boost in that area as well, and you have the power and knowledge to lift them up. Every girl out there is comparing her body to others, wondering how she measures up. Help her turn her focus from physical aspects to matters of the mind and spirit.

 “…Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:10-11

Jesus calls us to encourage one another in the faith. Be an example for your brothers and sisters in Christ, and show them what having Christ at the center of your focus looks like.

Find practical advice about how to do that in Part Two: 5 Practical Steps to a Stylish, Modest Wardrobe.

For more about Christian teens and modesty, check out A Letter To Christian Teenage Girls About Modesty From A Mother of Three Teenage Boys from a blog called Life in the Van.

Blessings!