Speak the Truth in Love: A Challenge for Teens

Last August, I spent some time walking around the county fair with my family. We checked out the exhibits, ate greasy food, and enjoyed sights unique to county fairs. There were cotton candy vendors, carnival rides, pens of goats, deep-fried cheese curds . . . and a man with a sign.

To be honest, I don’t remember what the sign said, except that a doomsday verse plucked from the Bible was scrawled across it in bold, black letters. I’m a Christian who firmly believes the Bible, but this man and his homemade sign made me uncomfortable. I didn’t want to go near him, or even look at him, and it wasn’t because of his message.

It was his method.

When was the last time you had a hard conversation about faith and sin? Did it go well? It’s not easy to share what you believe, especially when faith discussions can quickly turn awkward or hostile. As Christians, we are called to speak up—to share the gospel, stand up for truth, and turn sinners from destructive paths. The man with the sandwich board at the fair probably thought he was doing exactly that. But almost as important as what you say is how you say it.

You have to speak the truth in love.

So, how exactly do you do that? Let’s head into the garden for a quick lesson on how to speak the truth in love so that whether you’re sharing your faith with someone who doesn’t agree, standing up for what’s right, or confronting a friend in sin, you can and share the gospel effectively.

Luke 8: A Farmer Went to Sow His Seed . . .

“While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: “A farmer went out to sow his seed.”

Luke 8:4-5

Sowing seeds (an antiquated way of saying someone is planting a garden) sounds like a simple process. Dig a hole, drop in a seed, cover with dirt, sprinkle with water, done. In about a week, a tiny green shoot will pop out of the ground, and in about nine more, you’ll have a nice tall stalk with buttery yellow ears of corn.

Easy, right?

Of course, if you examine the parable of the sower in Luke 8:5-15, you’ll see that all kinds of things can go wrong. Feet, birds, rocks, thorns, and lack of moisture are just a few of the threats to a new seed or a young plant.

Then there’s the problem of soil. 

Sandy soil is coarse and has poor water retention, while loam soils are pretty much ideal for most gardens. Nothing, however, beats clay when it comes to tricky garden soils. Clay-based soils are sticky when wet and rock hard when dry. If you’re planting a garden in clay, you might as well be putting bullets into the ground instead of seeds.

You’ll get the same yield.

Does that mean you’re completely out of luck if you live in, say, North Carolina, where red clay is the dominant soil? Absolutely not—but hold that thought for a moment.

Amending the Soil of The Heart

The human heart works similarly. Planting the same seeds in different hearts often yields different results. Seeds planted in soft, fertile hearts sprout very quickly and grow into robust plants, yielding an abundant crop. But seeds dropped in hard, compacted, clay-like hearts will die. Or, be picked up by a bird, or trampled by feet, or . . . You get the picture.

I used to think my only job as God’s messenger was to throw seeds of Biblical truths at people and wait to see if they sprouted.

I used to think my only job as God’s messenger was to throw seeds of Biblical truths at people and wait to see if they sprouted. When they didn’t, I wrote that person off as being the soil along the path, packed down by feet and picked at by the birds.

“Sorry, nothing I can do about that!”

Except, any gardener worth her salt knows that soil can be amended. Clay, for example, is capable of holding huge amounts of plant nutrients. But to be viable for life, it needs a thick layer of organic matter (bark, leaves, compost, etc.) worked into the top eight inches of soil.

How to Share The Gospel in Love

“Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 

Ephesians 4:15

Love is like a thick layer of organic matter spread over a dry, hard soil. Love means getting to know a person, talking to her, and showing genuine concern for her being and what’s important to her. Maybe it means inviting her to join you for lunch, where you discover a shared interest in reggae music and spicy Thai food. Perhaps you have nothing in common, but you take a few minutes to ask about the fantasy dragon pencil drawings that she’s always making in her biology notebook.

As with garden soil, the amendments need to be added before the seed is planted.

Be a genuine friend. Take an interest in what matters to her.

As with garden soil, however, the amendments need to be added before the seed is planted. You can try to share your faith or turn a friend from sin without any additional work on your part. Maybe the seed will sprout and take root. But it’s unlikely.

Love must come first. Don’t even think about planting a seed in a garden of clay that you haven’t covered with compost—or a heart you haven’t loved first. 

Confronting a Friend in Sin? Gospel Before Law

I’m ashamed when I realize how often I failed at this. How many times have I slammed a friend with God’s Word before taking the time to listen and understand? I might have been right about her poor choices and the ways she was living contrary to God’s law, but without loving her first and through the process, the seeds died before they had a chance to sprout.

Don’t ram it down her throat, or skirt the issue for fear of hurting her feelings. Be assertive, but kind. Your love should still show, even at this point.

Related: Love or Hypocrisy: Should I Confront a Friend Who Sins?

Teen Evangelism: Planting Seeds of Faith in Due Time

Speaking the truth in love means not rushing into planting without regard to the garden.

Speaking the truth in love means not rushing into planting without regard to the garden. Take your time, amending the soil of the heart and preparing it for the seed. In Luke 13:6-9, we find a gardener who does just that. The owner of the garden is ready to chop down a fig tree that has never given him any fruit, but the gardener intervenes and tells him to wait. Do you know what he plans to do?

Amend the soil! He’s going to love that soil until it becomes fertile.

Love your neighbors, your friends, your classmates, your coworkers, and your siblings. Amend the soil of their hearts so the seed of God’s Word can sprout and produce a crop a hundred times what was sown.

And if you’re going to confront the sign-evangelist at the fair about his methods, do it with the love of Christ!

Speak the Truth in Love: Evangelism Resources for Teens

Bible Verses to Help You Speak the Truth in Love

• 1 Peter 3:15: “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…”
• 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
• Matthew 5:43-48
• 1 Peter 4:8: Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

More Evangelism Resources For Teens

• How to Talk About Jesus With Almost Anyone
• How to Invite Someone to Church—Without Being Weird
• How to Handle the Toughest Questions About God
• How to Be A Good Listener (And a Better Evangelist!)
• Teen Evangelism: Why Jesus Wants You To Share Your Faith NOW

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